By Doug Miller
A frequent volunteer, doting father of two and husband of a civically active member of the Nassau County Democratic Committee, Gross has been a tireless appearer at events throughout the region since he first ran for office in 1999. Rare is the dinner, groundbreaking, fund-raiser or graduation that Gross and his wife, Jennifer, haven't attended.
The couple, who came across as very youthful in their early 40s, had become the face of several area charities, especially the Stephanie Joyce Kahn Foundation, an organization that brings Books on Tape to hospitals, hospices and nursing homes to provide comfort and serenity to patients who are facing long recoveries from injuries or surgeries.
The Grosses, both trustees of the foundation, were honored at a dinner dance as its citizens of the year in 2004. Jennifer ran in the New York City Marathon in 2004 and dedicated the money she raised from it to the charity.
No one answered the phones at the SJK Foundation Tuesday.
The couple was also involved in Project Challenge, attending the ribbon-cutting for the Beach Club Youth Center at the East School and other events. Matt Dwyer, a member of Project Challenge's Board of Trustees, called the arrest "tragic."
"You just hope it's not true," he said.
It was a sentiment repeated frequently about the judge, a man with many close acquaintances who on Tuesday were giving him and his troubles a very wide berth.
An exception was Long Beach Fire Department Lt. Jay Gusler, a professional fireman who said Tuesday that he has known Gross for years. Gross, in fact, spoke up for Gusler when he applied for a variance before the Zoning Board of Appeals to build an extension on his mother's house. Tuesday, Gusler returned the courtesy.
"I'm certainly shocked to hear these kinds of allegations leveled against the guy," Gusler said. "I'm willing to give him the benefit of the doubt. You know, innocent until proven guilty. He's about the last guy in the world I would expect to have these allegations leveled against him."
Over the years, Gross happily hosted several classrooms full of Long Beach elementary school students in his chambers, entertaining them with stories from the bench and the role of judges in their lives. He usually followed up their visits by sending a picture of himself with the students to the Herald.
Gross is known to Herald reporters as a voracious political animal, frequently calling the newsroom to discuss and debate local issues, seeming to enjoy the give-and-take. He was often spot on with predictions about the course of city politics, rightly predicting several significant events before they happened.
As a judge, Gross had co-founded, with defense attorney Oscar Michlin, a speaking troupe they called the Law Squad. Gross and Michlin visited local high schools and middle schools and discussed with students the horrors of the legal system that await if they are arrested for underage drinking.
Gross recently self-published a book, "If the Robe Fits ... A View From the Bench." It was a project he had been shopping around for years, but he complained privately that major publishers would not consider the book because it did not revolve around troubled celebrities.
In 2003 Gross allowed a Herald reporter to follow him around for a rare Saturday judicial session, when most of the Friday night arrests are dealt with. Reporter Joe Kellard followed Gross from his chambers to the courtroom to, at one point, the Nassau University Medical Center, where Gross formally charged a sickly pregnant woman with selling cocaine.
He also worked with a group called Women's Opportunity Resource Center, a state-funded program that allows women to take classes as an alternative to incarceration and earn a variety of degrees. Last June he posed for a picture with the grateful graduates and another prominent patron of the group, rock star Joan Jett, whom Gross called a friend.
In 2003 he told the Herald, "This program gives them the skills to get a job and helps them find a job. They are then off drugs and supporting themselves and their children."
Each year, Gross said, he makes a point of attending the graduation ceremony at Hofstra. "And," he said, "I cry every time."
