By Nicole Falco
Depressed and stressed out, she had lost 45 pounds, and she weighed just 90 pounds. To survive, her body began eating its own muscle. By March, she was so weak that her heart collapsed. Once again Brown was admitted to the hospital -- this time she had suffered a heart attack.
"It took me a long time to care [about myself]," she said. "It took me all the way to March to start caring."
Since then Brown has been taking anti-depressants and has gained back some of the weight she lost. She says her heart is doing much better. She realizes she has to concentrate on Kevin's older brother and sister, particularly Michelle, who is only 13.
"It's not their fault that their brother died, and I don't want to punish them more than they've been punished," Nancy said. "They lost their brother; then to lose their mother..."
The first anniversary of Kevin's death is July 14. Last year, just after 6 p.m. that day, Kevin and some friends were riding their bikes in Lynbrook, near the Long Island Rail Road tracks behind Leaman Place, near Greis Park, when Kevin accidentally touched the third rail. He was electrocuted by 660 volts of electricity carried by the rail. He was reportedly attempting to retrieve an object thrown on the tracks.
Kevin, who had just completed fourth grade in District 24's William L. Buck School, was pronounced dead minutes later at Mercy Medical Center.
Days afterward, during Kevin's funeral at Holy Name of Mary Church, Father James Maltese eulogized him, saying, "I believe, I firmly believe that Kevin's mission in this life is not over."
If Nancy has her way, Father Maltese's words will always ring true. "My biggest thing is people forgetting him," she said.
Kevin's death prompted his mother, Lynbrook residents, the Village of Lynbrook, local children, Assemblyman Bob Barra and Sen. Dean Skelos to pressure the Metropolitan Transportation Authority, which owns the Long Island Rail Road, to erect a fence along the length of the railroad from Lyon Place to Wright Avenue in Lynbrook, also called Wilcox Alley.
Tragedy returns
Kevin's death was not the first on the tracks. Two teens were struck and killed by a train in 1994. Local residents had always been concerned about the tracks, which were easily accessible and an attraction for children and teens, but became even more vocal after Kevin's death. A petition with more than 1,500 signatures was presented to the MTA. This time, the MTA listened. An eight-foot fence was erected.
Still, the MTA has always maintained that education is the best deterrent to tragedy. In October, the authority brought its "Tracks Program" to District 24 schools. Students watched a video, "David's Run," which depicts the death of a teenage girl struck by a train. Some children could not bring themselves to watch the video so soon after their classmate's death and were excused.
Kevin's family and friends continue to add to a memorial site that was erected almost immediately after his death. The memorial is at the approximate location where he died. It includes pictures, candles, flowers, birthday balloons and a "mamma bear" and "baby bear." Kevin's friends and family gathered at the site for both planned and impromptu memorial services after his death. A smaller memorial, just feet away, marks the spot where the two teenagers were killed years earlier.
Nancy said that a memorial service, officiated by Deacon Tony Cuseo of Holy Name of Mary, will be held on July 14 at 6:30 p.m.
In school, they remember Kevin. According to Principal Albert Arnone, every so often a picture of Brown will appear on a child's book or he'll be talked about among his classmates.
'Kevin's corner'
Recently, District 24's Board of Education donated a bookshelf and plaque in his honor. The shelf, known as "Kevin's Corner," is now in the school's library. Besides books donated by Nancy and Kevin's father, Steven, the Buck Student Council raised $500 for the purchase of more books. Also, the Buck PTA donated a plaque and climbing ropes, which now hang in the gymnasium. Kevin will be included in the yearbook when his class graduates next year.
Nancy returned to the school for the first time since Kevin's death for the dedication of the bookshelf and climbing ropes in May. She was also present for the check presentation in June. "Going to school -- that was very hard for me," she said. "I used to go every day. You see all his friends but you don't see him. You see the class he would have been in, hear about the plays he would have been in."
Kevin is also being honored on a national level. On July 12, Nancy, her children, Michelle and Steven, 20, her sister and niece, will be in Washington D.C. to attend a ceremony to recognize recent tissue and organ donors. Nancy made the decision to donate Kevin's tissue and eyes.
"I felt he would have wanted to," she said during a recent interview in her home. "It was his personality. I know he would have wanted to help someone out."
Kevin was chosen by the New York State Tissue Foundation and the federal government for the honor, along with one donor from each state. Also, Kevin's picture and an essay Nancy wrote entitled, "I Live On," will be included in a journal.
There is also a brick in the Village of Valley Stream's Walk of Names, behind Village Hall, and a plaque in Holy Name's Mothers' Chapel, both dedicated to Kevin.
Just the way he left it
When she's stronger, Nancy hopes to write a book about her son, establish a scholarship fund at Buck and possibly speak in schools about Kevin's death. She'd also like to plant a tree near where he died.
In the meantime, Kevin's bedroom remains just the way he left it except for the hundreds of pictures Nancy put up on two walls. His Valley Stream Little League uniform also hangs on a wall.
The night he died and for a long time afterward, Nancy slept in his bed, surrounding herself with his possessions. She still wears his T-shirts.
As she speaks about Kevin, she periodically wipes away tears. She points out her favorite pictures of him. In particular, Nancy is drawn to one picture in which there seems to be sadness in his blue eyes.
"It just looks like something is going on in there," Nancy said. "I just feel like there was so much more about him that none of us knew. ... He had a side of him that was so affectionate -- the side he didn't want anybody to see."
Kevin had trouble dealing with his parents' divorce, and was happiest when with his friends and when on vacation. He loved staying in hotel rooms, Nancy said.
There were many places Nancy still wanted to take him, including Australia and Disney World. She feels cheated by his death and, like almost anyone in her situation, she wonders about all the things that could have been done to prevent his death, but she has no regrets.
"I told him how much I loved him," Nancy said.
Deeply missed
Steven and Michelle miss their brother. Like their mother, the two didn't have enough time with him. "He looked up to me in a lot of ways, but I don't think he knew I looked up to him in a lot of ways," Steven said.
The family did not celebrate holidays this year. Those days, including Kevin's May 7 birthday, were spent at Holy Rood Cemetery in Westbury, where he's buried.
Nancy noticed quite a few of Kevin's friends ride past her house on his birthday. "That kind of let me know they were acknowledging his birthday," she said.
His friends acknowledge him in other ways as well. Thomas McCurry, one of Kevin's best friends since they met in first grade, wore one of Kevin's T-shirts on Picture Day at school. He also now wears Kevin's number 6 on his baseball jersey.
The two boys, who looked a lot alike, would often switch clothes with each other during school. They also enjoyed getting in trouble together.
McCurry's mother, Terry, recalled when Kevin broke his collarbone. Kevin and her son were rough-housing on the playground at school when Kevin fell. "Guess what, Thomas? You broke my collarbone and I get to stay home from school," Terry remembered Kevin telling Thomas. Thomas responded, "You lucky stiff."
Terry also recalled pulling her son out of lacrosse practice to tell him Kevin had died. "Do you know why we're here?" Terry asked her son. He answered, "Yeah, you're going to tell me my best friend died."
The two boys were always in the same class, except in third grade. Since they couldn't see each other in class that year, they would plan on being sent to the nurse's office and then meet in the bathroom. "I'd bang my head on the desk so I had a reason to go to Mrs. Hicks [the nurse]," Thomas said.
Another friend and classmate, James Senger, created a collage with pictures, newspaper clippings and the Mass card from Kevin's funeral in his bedroom. "This is something I'm sure [Kevin's friends] will remember the rest of their lives," said James' mother, Maryanne.
Maryanne and Nancy were acquainted before Kevin's death, but since then Maryanne has been a shoulder for Nancy to lean on. She was at the hospital the night Kevin died. "I think about [Nancy] all the time," Maryanne said. "I look at [Kevin's] picture. I give her a lot of credit. ... At times I thought we were going to lose her."
