By:Linda Sapadin
Life does not always make sense. Common sense suggests that we should be able to deal better with the smaller stresses of life than the bigger ones. Yet this is not always the case.
Many people sweat the small stuff much more than the big stuff. For example, have you ever been close to "road rage" when a traffic jam has slowed you down? Have you ever had a major "hissy fit" when somebody said something nasty about you? Have you ever been really frightened that you were "losing it" when you misplaced your keys or your wallet?
In contrast, when it comes to major life stresses, such as an auto accident, a serious illness, even the death of a loved one, you may have found yourself dealing quite well with these momentous events, despite being very emotionally upset about what was happening.
Often with major stresses, you are able to summon up the courage, find the strength, capitalize on your smarts to cope far better than you ever imagined you would. Also, during those demanding occasions, friends and family are usually there for you with empathy and support which not only helps but which also may be very different from their usual response.
Janet is one of those people who can easily "go bananas" with the day-to-day frustrations of life. If her husband doesn't call when he said he would or if her teenage son is disrespectful, Janet becomes really angry and agitated. She finds it hard to calm down for hours, sometimes even days. She sweats the small stuff way out of proportion to its importance or meaningfulness.
She thinks "But he said he'd call. What could have happened?" Or "How could he be so inconsiderate?" Or "I could kill that son of mine. He's so ungrateful for everything."
This frustration and worried thinking easily escalates into rage, as she mulls over and over again about how things should be. The only people who offer her any sympathy are a few friends who have similar problems. Rather than calm her down, though, their input fuels the fire. Other friends and family, on the other hand, often criticize her for overreacting, which increases her emotional agitation.
If you, like Janet, find yourself sweating the small stuff more than the big stuff, here are some things to remember:
