By KEITH GRANT
Mary Ellen Nelson, 60
Mourners filled St. Ignatius R.C. Church clear to the back doors on Monday, to pay their last respects to Mary Ellen Nelson, who lost a lengthy battle with cancer last week. She was 60.
Ms. Nelson was a fixture in the Long Beach School District for the past two decades, and a beloved member of Long Beach's Irish Catholic community. After 10 years as the district's secretary to the Superintendent of Schools, she had just this month reluctantly given in to her illness and stepped down from her post. Her retirement had just been voted on by the Board of Education last week and was to take effect the day after Thanksgiving.
Over the past 23 years, Ms. Nelson had weaved her way through the district from the Health Office in West School, to Pupil Services, to Lindell School secretary, to the high school guidance office, before landing at the superintendent's office door in 1990. She cut through the fabric of the district, some said.
Born Mary Ellen Fitzgerald, Ms Nelson was a longtime Long Beach resident whose three children went through Long Beach Catholic School. Eighteen years ago, she became a single parent when her husband Sam, a lieutenant in the New York City Police Department, lost his life to cancer.
Had the task been a struggle for Ms. Nelson, she hid it from friends as well as she more recently hid the effects of her own illness.
"She became a single parent, but you never thought of her as being on her own," said Veronica Danca, principal of LBCS. "She was able to do it with a lot of dignity. Even with her own sickness."
Ms. Danca became Ms. Nelson's West Market Street neighbor in 1972, and the latter quickly became "Aunt Mary Ellen" to the young Danca children. On a block with what seemed like dozens of kids at any given time, the Nelson home was the one all the kids wanted to go to.
Whatever powers she may have held over the children, it apparently carried over to adults, as well. Dr. Dennis Ryan knew Ms. Nelson as both a colleague and a friend, and one trait he said always stood out in her was an ability to treat all people with the same care and concern.
"From custodian to superintendent, she treated everyone the same," Dr. Ryan said. "She was one who never said an unkind word of anyone. There was something special about her ... she had a certain spirit of life. But she was very private. Many people didn't know how sick she was."
Even if her pain was evident, Ms. Nelson would not let it be thought about for long.
"Over the summer, I saw her one day and saw that she was having difficulty getting out of her car," Dr. Ryan said. He hadn't seen her in a while, which often can allow a person more perspective on how a cancer is affecting someone. "I guess she saw the look on my face, and she said, 'Now you just stop there. This is the happiest day of my life. My son is getting married and my daughter is having a baby.'"
Faith and family were Ms. Nelson's life, as was the school district. Colleagues say she took great pride in her work, was fast and efficient, and never hesitated to put in the extra hour if needed.
"I always told the superintendents it was never their office, it was hers," Dr. Ryan said.
Equal to her love of the schools was the pride in her Irish heritage, right down to a typically Irish "sense of optimism," friends said. "She could always find the positive in something," Ms. Danca said.
Others, Ms. Danca added, had little difficulty in finding the positive within Ms. Nelson. "No matter whether you knew her for a short period or longer, she'd leave an indelible mark on your life. She was just a role model in so many different areas. She was a great lady. I'm gonna miss her."
With the sound of bagpipes seeping in from beyond the front doors of the church, Ms. Nelson was spoken of during the funeral service as an "Irish saint." Friends later described Ms. Nelson as a woman of faith, a woman who believed in miracles. Miracles, for those who believe them, can come in peculiar forms. One week before she died, Ms. Nelson's newest grandson was born. With her condition worsening, Ms. Nelson's family did not know if she would ever even see him. But the newborn briefly became sick and was taken to North Shore University Hospital's emergency room, where he ended up right across the room from his grandmother.
Though the child won't have a memory of the meeting, friends believe that such brief encounters were enough for Ms. Nelson to leave an imprint on almost any life. "I thought, after all of the services, about how amazing the impact is that one life can have on so many," Dr. Ryan said. "And she had done it so unassumingly. But, that's what saints do."
Ms. Nelson is survived by her three children, Samuel and his wife, Arlene; Edward and wife Colleen; Kathleen Williams and husband Martin; grandchildren Brian, Kaitlyn and Liam; her sister Marge Geiger and husband Charlie; brother Tom Fitzgerald and wife Terry; and nieces and nephews Charles, Kathleen, Meaghan, James, Jennifer, Samantha, and Kelly Anne.
