Which leaves me here, alone and writing to you. Pardon me whilst I weep in self-pity.
OK, I'm back, and as hopeful as ever that the big one will come along any minute now. But while I wait, I will reflect for a few moments on the institution of marriage. First off, I have always found it odd that it is described as an "institution," especially considering my pre-disposition to escape them since childhood.
Last week, the Massachusetts Supreme Court ruled that homosexual couples had a right to marry under state law, which naturally means that we'll all be gay by the year 2045. Or so the most vocal opponents of the ruling would have you believe. Let's everyone take a deep breath! Good, let's move on.
The concept of marriage has come a long way since Adam clunked Eve over the head with a wooden club and dragged her into his cave. (Hey, I managed to insult both creationists and evolutionists in one sentence! Sweet!)
Until only recently in human history, marriages were arranged according to lineage and economics. To marry for love was unheard of. Women, under most major religious dogma, used to be considered "possessions," and polygamy was not out of the question.
My, how times have changed. You tell your wife she's a possession these days and the next thing you know you'll be living in a one-room apartment with nothing but beer and ketchup in the fridge. Before the Civil Rights movement, unions between people of different skin hues was taboo, and not in the board-game sense. Heck, 100 years ago Irish-Italian couples were frowned upon.
Today, marriage retains its place as a sacred union between a man and a woman, thanks in part to shows like "Joe Millionaire," "The Bachelor" and "Who Wants to Marry a Millionaire?"
Maybe I'm cynical -- just maybe -- but I question the sanctity of any institution that can be officiated by a guy dressed like Elvis at 4:30 in the morning at over 200 locations in greater Las Vegas (an overweight, jumpsuited Elvis, no less; it would be one thing if he were the young, blue blazered Elvis).
I always hoped that when it happened for me, I would already be married, in mind and heart, to my betrothed long before the actual wedding. A marriage certificate is just a piece of paper without love and support. The approval of my church, my family or my society would be nice, but not necessary. Not if I loved that person with all of my heart.
If homosexual couples who truly wish to commit to each other want their unions to be recognized by the state, then why not? Marriage, in the eyes of the law, is just a civil union. Any true marriage rests squarely in the souls of the two people involved. Society will bear witness only to the love that results from that union.
