By: Linda Sapadin
Difficulties with decision making can apply to small stuff (such as making a minor purchase) as well as big stuff (such as, career, marital or medical choices).Despite how important good decision making is, few of us know very much about how to do it. Some make an important decision for the flimsiest of reasons. For instance:
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John chose to go to U. Mass because his friend was going there.
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Amy became a teacher because she didn't want to be a nurse.
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Howie married Gail because she fit his checklist: attractive, smart and the right religion.
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Al invested 50 percent of his savings in a stock that his "friend" told him would definitely be a "winner."
Others, on the other hand, let a minor decision torture them. They waste precious time and energy trying to decide what to do, even when these decisions are inconsequential. For instance:
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Marie has so much trouble deciding what clothes to buy that she buys too much, spends the next day agonizing over her choices, then returns half of them to the store.
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Jeff flip-flops over vacation plans, putting a lot of effort into organizing a trip, then "undoes" all of his planning because something "better" might be out there.
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Nancy admits that her perfectionism stands in the way of making any decision an "easy" decision.
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Ralph has so little self-confidence that even when he makes a decision, he neglects to carry it out, leaving him feeling weak and powerless.
If you can learn better ways of making decisions, your life can be a lot easier and smoother. And I wouldn't be surprised if you also become more successful and satisfied with yourself. Here are a few basic principles that can help you make smarter choices.
1. Clarify: what exactly is the decision you want to make?It could be: Should I leave my job? Or, should I look for a new job? Or, should I think about a new career path? Or, should I discuss with my supervisor difficulties I'm having on the job? It's pretty tough to come up with the right answer if you are not even asking yourself the right question.
2. Consider the consequences of your decisions.When taking an action, consider the possible consequences of your action. Since important decisions shape your life, think about not only the probable short-term consequences but the long-term ones as well.
3. Know your tolerance for risk. Most decisions, especially the tough ones, involve some degree of uncertainty. Obviously, you hope that your decision turns out well, but what if it doesn't? That high-tech stock that was going to make you rich is now a penny stock. That new job you took turned out to be much more stressful, and pressured than you were led to believe. Is that okay with you or are you driving yourself nuts over the unexpected outcome? Knowing your tolerance for risk will help you make decisions that you can live with comfortably - no matter what happens.
4. Expand the possible alternatives available to you. Some decisions are made more difficult because your mind only thinks about two alternatives. Should Amy become a teacher or a nurse? A good decision can only be as good as one's best alternative. If Amy expanded her choices, she'd have a much better chance of making a better decision - for her.
5. Recognize the tradeoffs you need to make. In an ideal world, once you've made your choice, you live happily ever after. In the real world, you almost always have to wrestle with the tradeoffs. I love the outfit, but it costs a fortune. This college is where my friends are going, but it doesn't have the best journalism program. You will be happier with your decisions if you address the tradeoffs you need to make and accept them as part of the deal.
Following these guidelines can profoundly enrich your decision making, which, in turn, can make you much more pleased with yourself and the choices you make.
Linda Sapadin, Ph.D., is a psychologist who works with individuals, couples and families. Copyright © 2003.
