By Matthew McGevna
As students settled in their seats, Joseph walked into his brother¹s class, found his chair and folded his hands obediently on the desk. Other students, knowing what the teacher didn¹t know, chuckled and whispered to each other. Joseph was pretending to be his identical twin brother, Kenneth. The teacher caught on to the hoax only because Joseph was the only student not laughing.
³People always had a problem telling the two apart,² Joseph¹s stepfather, Joseph Tribble, said, sitting in his living room, surrounded by condolence cards, with tears in his eyes. ³Nina and I never did. But now sometimes I see Ken, and he¹ll turn a certain way ... and I¹ll see Joey.²
Joseph lost his battle with Hodgkin¹s lymphoma on March 16 at age 21, just shy of a year after he was first diagnosed.
He had graduated with honors from Malverne High School in 2003, and went on to earn a degree in communications from LaSalle University in Philadelphia a semester early, despite taking on the responsibilities of a resident assistant in his sophomore year. His brother went to Vassar. It was one of the few times the two were separated.
It seemed as if Joseph¹s life was on the fast track. His passion was music, and while at LaSalle he earned an internship with Warner Brothers, where he worked with rappers Jim Jones and the Diplomats. He often told whoever he met that he would become CEO of a major record label one day.
Three framed pencil drawings, of Malcolm X, Martin Luther King Jr. and Nelson Mandela, hang on the wall of the Tribbles¹ home. Joseph¹s stepfather said he was proud to have raised Joseph with a profound sense of right and wrong.
³One time, while he was an R.A., there was a rape that took place,² Tribble said, explaining that after the rape, the school issued a number of new regulations governing student behavior. ³And I remember Joey was really upset with this because it was such a harsh reaction,² his stepfather went on. ³And he fought it.²
In Joseph¹s third year at LaSalle, his parents started to notice a change in him. He had lost weight, but they figured he was so busy that he wasn¹t eating. Then he started to complain about night sweats and shortness of breath. He said he was tired all the time. The Tribbles took Joseph to a doctor who tested him for everything from mononucleosis to tuberculosis. Then the doctor X-rayed his chest. Shortly afterward, the Tribbles were told that Joseph needed to be admitted to a hospital. The X-rays had revealed a mass on his lungs. He was diagnosed with Hodgkin¹s lymphoma.
The disease has a fairly high survival rate, and when Joseph found that out, he told his family that it would make a good chapter in his autobiography one day. ³His whole outlook had been, it¹s no big deal, I¹ll beat it,² Tribble said.
In the course of his treatment, Joseph not only took pills, but underwent radiation and chemotherapy as well. All the while, he continued working as Jones¹s executive assistant, fielding calls, organizing parties, booking flights.
³Sometimes I would see him laying down on the couch, and he was clearly in pain,² Tribble said. ³But he¹d have his Sidekick next to him and he¹d answer it. He¹d get up, get dressed and go to New York City, and I knew he was in pain. But I figured if this is what got him up, if this is what kept him going ... then how could I object?²
By early March, it was clear that Joseph would need more aggressive treatment. He was scheduled to undergo a stem cell transplant, and was discussing the procedure with doctors at Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center in Manhattan.
³I got a text message from Joey that he was being transported to [intensive care],² his mother said, pulling up the message, which was still on her Sidekick. ³Heads up,² she read. ³I¹m going to Sloan¹s ICU. They¹re sticking a breathing tube in me. But don¹t worry, I¹ll be out in a couple days.² She paused, and then as tears welled up in her eyes, she finished reading the message. ³I love you guys.²
Those were Joseph¹s final words to his parents. ³Up until Wednesday [March 14], he was lucid, gesturing and writing things down,² his stepfather said. ³By Thursday, he was sedated.²
On the night of March 16, the Tribbles came home from visiting Joseph. His roommate, Drew Carballo, was spending the night with them. The Tribbles had been told earlier that Joseph¹s vitals had dropped. They got home at around 11:40 p.m. Shortly before midnight, the hospital called. Joseph was gone.
The Tribbles were still filling out thank-you cards a full week after Joseph¹s funeral on March 24. They had finished about 600, and had 400 more to go. Neighbors remarked at how they thought the funeral was for a police officer because so many people turned out. At the Malverne School District, flags fluttered at half staff.
³He was the best brother I could have asked for,² Kenneth Miles told LaSalle¹s student newspaper. ³Everywhere he was, I was, and everywhere I was, he was.²
³We¹re all taking one day at a time,² Joseph Tribble said. ³It¹s hard, but we pull strength from within.² He and Nina recalled different things about Joseph that they would miss the most. ³I used to call them my two bookends,² Nina said of Joseph and Kenneth, her eyes filling with tears. ³They used to measure each other at camp, and they towered over me, one on each side. I¹m gonna miss my bookend.²
³Sometimes as a parent, you wonder, when you tell your kids about right and wrong ... if they get it,² Joseph said. ³And during this whole experience, Joey would say things, and his friends would tell me things that I remember telling Joey. I¹d hear my own words being spoken back to me from Joey¹s friends, and I realized he did get it.²
Members of Jim Jones¹s entourage flooded the hospital waiting room in the days leading up to his death, and busloads of LaSalle students were supposed to make a trek to Sloan Kettering the day Joseph died. Administrators and teachers from Malverne and LaSalle came to his funeral to pay their respects. On his MySpace page, dozens of friends posted messages: ³Save me a seat up there.² ³Put in a good word for me.² ³I¹ll never forget you.² Joseph¹s parents said they felt that was a fitting tribute to the way he led his life.
³I want the world to know that Joey never quit,² his stepfather said. ³I hope his friends live by his example. He had goals, and he went for them. There¹s no doubt in my mind that he would have been the next CEO of a major record label.²
Nina brought out a painting from a back room and held it up. Painted on the bottom of the frame were some lines of poetry that had special meaning to Joseph. ³God was like nah, leave him alone/ He¹s one of ours/ He¹s got wings upon his back/ And he¹s destined for the stars.²
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