By Scott Brinton
³She never quits,² the longtime Merrick resident says, a smile slowly emerging across his tired face as he turns to her.
The couple are seated on a recent sunny Thursday at their dining-room table. ³Maria always puts her family first, to make sure she'll be there for them,² Paul continues, collecting himself. ³She has tremendous strength. It just amazes me. It is an amazing story of hope.²
Nine years ago, at age 41, Maria was diagnosed with Stage 3 breast cancer, an advanced form of the often fatal disease. She knew all too well how deadly the illness could be. Her older sister, Josephine, had already died of it, leaving behind three teenage daughters, whom Maria and Paul took into their home to raise. After her sister¹s death, Maria¹s mother fell into a depression, dying soon after. Maria recalls worrying about how she would tell her family about her own diagnosis. ³It was a big shock,² she says.
Since her diagnosis in 1997, Maria¹s battle with the disease has had its ups and downs. She has beaten it back, only to have it return within months. At times she has reached the brink of death, but she refuses to give up.
Paul has taken up the fight as well. Maria and Paul, 56, manager of the Modell¹s sporting goods store in Lake Success, are breast-cancer activists. They have raised tens of thousands of dollars for research while taking part in fund-raisers such as the American Cancer Society's Relay for Life and Making Strides Against Breast Cancer walks, among many others. Maria has often participated in fund-raisers while suffering through painful cancer treatments.
Most recently, the Cancer Society asked Maria to serve as one of its ambassadors on Capitol Hill to lobby Congress to maintain research funding. She felt honored to do so.
Celebration on the Hill
President Bush¹s 2007 federal budget, which was released last winter and took effect in October, proposed a nearly $40 million cut for cancer research -- ³the deepest cut in a generation,² the Baltimore Sun reported last spring. With the federal government facing a $339 million budget deficit in the 2007 fiscal year, ³We had to make hard choices -- hard choices about very well-intentioned programs,² said Health and Human Services Secretary Michael Leavitt. In all, Congress appropriates $4.75 billion annually for the National Cancer Institute.
In September, Gruol was one of 4,000 cancer survivors who flooded Capitol Hill to send lawmakers a message loud and clear -- help us. The two-day lobbying event, called A Celebration on the Hill, is a ritual that the Cancer Society has organized each September since 2002, but with the cuts in cancer-research funding looming, and still more possible in the future, this year¹s effort took on added importance.
Gruol appeared before U.S. Rep. Peter King, a Republican from Seaford. ³I told him my story, how cancer has been in my life for 23 years,² she says. King agreed to sign a Cancer Society pledge in which he promised to:
€Make health system reform a priority.
€Support cancer prevention and early-detection programs.
€Increase cancer research funding.
€Expand access to cancer treatments for ³at least 2 million low-income, uninsured individuals ages 50 to 64.²
The preamble to the Congressional Cancer Promise reads in part, ³Cancer strikes one out of two men and one out of three women, killing 1,500 people every day. Each cancer death, on average, steals 15 years of life. But today, people are increasingly living with cancer rather than dying from it -- a testament to our nation¹s investment in biomedical research, cancer prevention, early detection and care ...²
³Many stakeholders in the cancer fight are actively doing their part to defeat this disease,² the pledge continues, ³but it cannot be done without the sustained leadership and strong commitment of government.²
In all, 292 of Congress¹s 435 U.S. representatives and 51 of its 100 senators signed the pledge. In addition to King, Rep. Carolyn McCarthy of the 4th District and Sen. Charles Schumer were among the signatories, but their fellow Democrat, Sen. Hillary Clinton, was not, according to the Cancer Society's Web site.
Gruol was in the throes of chemotherapy when she went to Washington. The cancer recently has metastasized to other parts of her body, and she has become frail and thin. A neat silk scarf is wrapped tightly around her head to cover the baldness caused by the chemo.
For the love of family
Despite feeling constantly fatigued, Gruol carries on, caring for her two teenage daughters, Michelle, 16, and Bernadette, 13, both outstanding students and athletes. ³My family keeps me going,² she says. Paul, Michelle and Bernadette all joined her in Washington.
One of Gruol¹s best friends, Marianne Driscoll, drives her to chemotherapy treatments. The two met shortly after Maria¹s diagnosis, when Bernadette attended kindergarten with Driscoll¹s daughter Jessie. ³She¹s the ultimate warrior,² Driscoll says. ³If anyone has done it all and survived, it¹s Maria. She¹s absolutely unbelievable. She¹s feeling horrible, and she¹ll be at the kids¹ games that afternoon. She has no time for cancer. She gives so much.²
Gruol, who has undergone stem-cell and radiation treatments in addition to chemotherapy, says she is determined to give Michelle and Bernadette a normal childhood. Michelle plays for the Calhoun High School girls¹ soccer team, and Bernadette runs cross-country at Merrick Avenue Middle School. Both are also passionate about ballet, studying at the Dickerson Performing Arts Center in Merrick. They recently danced a duet together in a recital. ³They get along so well,² their mother says. ³They¹re close. That¹s important. They¹re really caring kids.² For her Sweet 16 party, Michelle crafted a photo album of family celebrations and outings for Bernadette.
Sherry Burbes first got to know Maria when their children were in nursery school. Burbes¹s son Ryan and Bernadette grew into fast friends, as did their mothers. Burbes says of Maria, ³She¹s always there for everyone. Everyone else comes first. Everything she does is for her kids¹ future, including her [fund-raising] walks. She¹s one of the people you¹re lucky to have as a friend.²
Driscoll, Burbes and another friend, Debbie Salandino, made the trip to the nation¹s capital to surprise Maria and Paul and to support them in their lobbying efforts. The three special-ordered T-shirts with Maria¹s photograph across the front. On the back, the shirts read, ³We pity the fool that messes with Gruol.²
The American Cancer Society erected a Wall of Hope on the National Mall, with 5,000 banners signed by more than 3 million cancer survivors. Around the reflecting pool, society volunteers, including Gruol¹s friends, set up 20,000 luminaries -- brown paper bags with candles inside that cast a serene orange glow, symbolizing hope. ³It was beautiful,² Paul said.
Maria's doctors tried several new treatment regimens this year. All failed. Over the summer, they decided to return to a chemotherapy drug called herceptin, which had worked for Maria before. Thus far it has reduced, though not eliminated, her cancer. But she continues to hold on to hope. She tells her children, ³Anything can happen to anyone any day. You do what you have to do and go on every day.²
With a smile, she adds, ³I¹d like to stick around long enough for people to say, ŒWhew! What was cancer all those years?¹²
Comments about this story? SBrinton@liherald.com or (516) 569-4000 ext. 203.
