By Laura Lane
But they're not alone in the struggle, thanks to Compeer. For 20 years the non-profit organization has set up friendships between volunteers and mentally ill Nassau County residents.
According to officials at the organization, a big problem mentally ill people face is the stigma placed on them by society. Often unable to work, find housing or friends, the mentally ill are socially isolated. The fear of the mentally ill resulting from a generalization of them as violent or unpredictable makes socializing especially hard on them, Compeer officials say.
"Social isolation only contributes to make the problems associated with mental illness worse," Dr. Gloria Lane, a private psychotherapist practitioner from Westbury, said.
At any time, she said, between 30 and 45 million Americans suffer from a mental illness that requires professional treatment.
"The mentally ill have good days and bad days, and one of the problems that they have is consistency, especially in social situations," she said.
As they experience loneliness, isolation, unemployment and humiliation that results from people's misunderstandings of them, the mentally ill find that they are in need of more than just traditional therapy, Lane said.
"If the person doesn't have a support system (other than family), someone from the outside can be very helpful. This person can provide hope to the person suffering from mental illness that they won't be all alone," Lane said.
Compeer provides just what the doctor ordered: a friend.
Through professionals in the mental-health field, Compeer matches trained volunteers with those receiving mental-health treatment, aiming to combat the stigma of the illness through the friendship that develops. The client becomes better equipped to lead a normal life, Lane said.
"We try to match the mentally ill with a friend to quicken the healing process," Bonnie Fenenbock, Compeer program coordinator, said. "We also hope to spread an understanding of mental health from the volunteers to the community."
Compeer was begun here in 1979 by Nancy R. Reimer, who is now the director of social-work services for the Mental Health Association of Nassau County, where Compeer can be found.
"Fifteen years ago a few of us at Mental Health wanted to do something meaningful," Reimer recalled. "We invited the director of the Rochester group [who originated the program] to come and talk to us. We were very excited, and after picking his brain on how to get started, we did just that and started a training program." Similar programs exist in 115 cities and 33 states, serving approximately 4,000 people.
At the time it began, the Nassau group was small, with only 35 members, but it was successful right away.
Years later, Fenenbock, a friend of Reimer's, was looking for a part-time job and was hired. After attending a convention to learn the skills necessary to run the program, she committed herself to the Compeer program.
"Bonnie has helped the program to grow over the years," Reimer said.
The program has been quite successful, earning the Certificate of Significant Achievement Award from the American Psychiatric Association, the Presidential Volunteer Action Award and three Points of Light awards.
Dan Watson, a social worker, has been affiliated with Compeer for three years and says the program has benefited his clients greatly. He singled out one client, in particular, who has flourished as a result of the friendship formed through Compeer.
"My client looks forward to the activities with her friend and also the connection," Watson said. "I've noticed that the lift that she gets from being with this person is beneficial for the therapeutic process."
Watson also believes the friendship has staved off many crisis visits to clinic or hospital, which were frequent before the client's involvement in Compeer.
The friendship does have checks and balances to enable all of the participants to work toward a common goal. Monthly the volunteer files a report to the program supervisor and therapist of the activities that have been performed. An assessment of how the client is doing is also included. The report records the number of times and total hours the volunteer and client spent together, hours spent on the phone and a brief description of what they did together.
Sometimes the relationship even serves a practical purpose, allowing the client to run errands that would be difficult without the volunteer.
"It is hard to attribute a client's improved mental- health state to interactions with a volunteer, but in this instance, it has added to helping the client," Watson said. "Sometimes my patients would call the Compeer volunteer before she would call me, her therapist."
When the volunteer is initially interviewed, much time is spent discussing interests, hobbies, etc. A match is made when the client and volunteer share a common age, gender, interests and geographic location. A thumbnail sketch of the client is given to the volunteer, who is then advised to make a list of questions to ask the referring therapist. The point is to enable the volunteer to glean as much information as possible about the client before agreeing to the customary commitment of one year.
Throughout the process, the staff continues to be available to the volunteer to help facilitate the development of a productive friendship. Volunteers regularly attend "rap sessions," where they share what is working in the relationship and what may need some guidance. The Compeer coordinator, as well as the client's therapist, is always available to support the volunteer.
"The rap session is very rewarding for me, because I feel that it enlightens you," Ina Haas, a volunteer from Cedarhurst, said. "You hear how other people are handling things, maybe an inability that they are experiencing, and you can relate to it and talk about how to handle it. I always go and haven't missed one rap session."
A personal account
"I'm a person in need of a Compeer volunteer because I am very sick, alone and have a lot of time on my hands," the client, who declined to give his name, said. "The relationship with my friend has helped me tremendously. I know that he goes the extra mile with me because I'm extra normal. If I exhibit signs of mental illness, he doesn't overreact, call attention to it or correct it."
Most important, the client said he has gained a more positive attitude and newfound confidence due to the friendship.
"If I didn't meet Lee over the past four years, I'd never be able to talk," he said.
And the volunteer, Lee Nowell, said the relationship has benefited him, too.
"After I retired, in six months I realized that I missed contact with people," Nowell said. "We have common interests and I really think that I probably have learned as much from him as he has from me."
Looking to expand
Steve Green, executive director of the Mental Health Association, is encouraged by the Compeer program. "The program tells the story of the healing power of friendship," he said.
There are plans to extend the program to benefit emotionally disturbed children. If everything goes as planned, carefully screened adults will be matched with children, using the same concepts that have made the adult program so successful. Compeer is currently involved in fundraising to enable its dream to become a reality.
"The money we raise privately, we hope can be used to match state funds," Fenenbock said. "Children are the hope for the future."
More volunteers needed
In Nassau County, 150 clients wait for a friend. Compeer is careful to make the appropriate match and, unfortunately, there are not enough volunteers to go around.
"It was a wake-up call to realize how many people are getting mental-health treatment," Nowell said. "I now realize that mental illness is ongoing."
Ten people in Long Beach, 10 more in the East Meadow/Westbury area and seven in Oceanside are among those still waiting for a friend.
Also in the Herald's circulation area, help is needed in Baldwin, Bellmore, Island Park, Lawrence, Lynbrook, Merrick, Rockville Centre, Valley Stream and Woodmere.
"Maybe people will read this and get some hope," volunteer Nowell's new friend said. "Maybe those without mental illness will look past the stigma and see the person."
For more information about the Compeer Program or to learn how to initiate a match, call the coordinator, (516) 489-2322 Ext. 121.
