€If your child goes on a playdate, go with him or her the first time -- or anytime, for that matter. Know all you can about the other child's parents. If you drop off your child, pick him or her up earlier than the scheduled time.
€Determine whether your child has a secret hideout in the woods. Children often get trapped alone in such places.
€A child should never go into a public restroom alone.
€Make sure to tell your kids to update you whenever they change their plans.
€Tell your children that if they ever get lost in a store, they should find the nearest cashier to report that they're lost. They should be told never to leave the store.
€If children are at home alone and the doorbell rings, they should never look through the blinds. If a child peers through the blinds, a predator knows that he or she is alone. Kids should be told to simply stay put and not make a sound. When the person leaves, the child should immediately call Mom or Dad, who should always carry a cell phone. If children answer the phone, they should tell the caller that Mom or Dad is napping or in the shower.
pt hed: Sound advice on keeping kids safe
Drophead: Nassau County Police offers Parent University seminar
By Scott Brinton
ITAL: Part two of a series on the Merrick School District's recent Parent University. UNITAL
A tall man wearing a blue police officer's uniform stands on a street corner near the local elementary school. A 9-year-old girl is walking slowly home from school. The officer stops her.
"Stand by the police car over there," he tells the girl. "We're looking for a man who robbed a house in your neighborhood. Just stand by the door. Only get in the car if you hear dogs coming. That means the robber is getting close."
The girl dutifully complies with the officer's request. Within minutes, she hears dogs barking. The sound grows closer. Scared, she jumps in what she believes to be an unmarked police car. The officer at the corner races over to the car, hops in and drives off with the little girl.
The man at the corner was not a police officer. He was a child molester, and he worked in tandem with another pedophile to create the above scenario in order to get the little girl in the car without incident.
The above was one of many real-life situations that Nassau County police officer Tom Gilberti ran through during a one-hour class at the Merrick School District's recent Parent University. Titled "Operation Safe Child," the seminar was all about how to keep kids safe from sexual predators.
Without doubt, the half-dozen parents in the class were frightened and bewildered by the little-known and highly devious methods that child molesters and rapists employ to ensnare children and even teenagers.
Gilberti noted that 43 serial pedophiles can molest 67,000 children during their lives -- yes, 67,000 children.
Gilberti discussed what he called the "Laws of Abduction." The first was called the "Assistance Law." "All children," Gilberti noted, "like to be helpful." So, an abductor might ask a child for help in looking for a lost puppy. The molester will show the child a cute photo of a puppy. Wanting to help, the child will get in the car, believing that he will search the neighborhood for the animal.
"An adult who needs assistance shouldn't be asking a child," Gilberti said.
Parents must stress to their children how important it is that they never talk with strangers, Gilberti said. And, he noted, children should always take at least two steps back whenever approached by a strange adult in a car. They should then simply walk silently in the opposite direction of the car, giving themselves more time to get away.
Gilberti spoke about the "Bribery Law." He said molesters will often try to entice kids with promises of ice cream or candy. "You've got to tell your kids that you never get something for nothing," Gilberti said. "Kids should never get gifts unless you, the parents, say it's OK."
Gilberti noted the "Job Law," in which a molester poses as an authority figure such as a police officer or firefighter, as well as the "Hero Law," in which the molester pretends to be a famous athlete, movie star or singer.
"You don't go with anyone, even if he has a uniform on, unless Mom or Dad says it's OK," said Gilberti.
There's also the "Name Law." Molesters know the power of name recognition. They use a child's own name to lure him or her in. The molester might stand near a school-yard fence, listening for children's names as they play with one another. Or a predator might spot children's names on bicycle license plates.
Gilberti spoke of the "Playmate Companion Law," in which molesters use other children to draw in a victim.
Finally, if all else has failed, a predator might try to intimidate a child into getting into his car, either by verbally abusing the child or by pointing a gun at him or her. In either case, the child should run in the opposite direction of the predator's car and scream, Gilberti said. Children should be taught to yell statements like, "He's got a gun! He's trying to kidnap me!" and "He's not my father! Help!"
"Predators," Gilberti said, "don't look for victims. They look for opportunities."
Children should be taught not to walk alone, especially in vacant lots or empty schoolyards. Young children should never be left alone, even if Mom or Dad needs to run into a convenience store for just a minute or two. Abductors can strike anywhere, at a moment's notice.
Children should be taught their full names, addresses and telephone numbers. They should also know how to dial 911. And, Gilberti noted, parents must talk with their kids constantly to keep communication lines open.
Next week: Peer pressure and self-esteem.
Comments about this story? SBrinton@liherald.com or (516) 569-4000 ext. 203.
