By Jeff Lipton
She recounted how her son, Jonathan, a junior at the University of Arizona, committed suicide. The tragedy occurred almost six years ago, but reliving the details hasn't grown any easier for Goodstein.
Since her son died, she has been on a crusade to spread knowledge of the warning signs of suicide. She said that if she could spare even one family from going through what she and her family have been through since Sept. 9, 1999, when her 20-year-old son took his own life, it would be worth the effort.
Goodstein was the guest speaker at the May 11 suicide-prevention program co-hosted by the Peninsula Counseling Center (PCC) in Woodmere, the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (AFSP) and Legislator Jeff Toback (D-Oceanside). The meeting featured an unscripted 26-minute film, "The Truth about Suicide: Real Stories of Depression in College."
Suicide is the second leading cause of death among college students in America, surpassed only by auto accidents, said Dale Camhi of East Rockaway, a longtime friend of the Goodsteins and an area director of AFSP. About 1,100 students kill themselves on American college campuses each year.
The program in the library last week was one of five being held in Nassau and Suffolk counties, leading up to the second annual "Out of the Darkness" suicide-prevention walk on Sunday, Sept. 25, at 10 a.m. in Old Westbury Gardens. The fund-raiser drew 600 participants last year and raised $118,000, and the goal is to double both numbers this year.
Goodstein and her husband, Fred, have been on a campaign to let others know that suicide, in many cases, can be prevented. Friends and family just have to know what warning signs to look out for.
Her voice unsteady and quavering at times, Goodstein said her son manifested no warning signs up until two days before he took his own life. "Growing up, there were no signs," she said. "He was always laid-back, and he was always the one to say, 'Don't worry, it'll work out.'"
Jonathan was so popular that he was asked to be the president of his college fraternity, his mother said. But he declined so that he could concentrate on his grades.
Two days before he died, "There were significant [warning] signs, but we weren't there to see them," Goodstein said. Jonathan, a good student, missed class, which was dramatically out of character for him, his mother said. He didn't work out in the university's gym, and he didn't play sand volleyball, which he loved to do. He locked his door to his dorm and didn't let anyone in, his mother added.
Jonathan's radical change in behavior may have been noticed by his college friends, but they didn't report it to anyone because they were afraid they would upset him, his mother said. "No one called us and told us about the change in behavior," she said. "They were afraid he would be angry with them.
"And there were signs they would not know to pick up on," Goodstein said. A bowl on a coffee table in his dorm contained 30 to 40 cigarette butts, even though he was not a chain smoker, she said.
The night before he killed himself, Jonathan seemed stressed out over a class he thought he would fail, and said he couldn't understand the professor, who was foreign. That night, he had a lengthy phone conversation with his mother about the class, and at the end of the talk, he seemed to have calmed down.
The next day he drove to a sporting-goods store and purchased a gun in five minutes after undergoing a quick background check. Then he locked himself in his room and turned the theme from "Rocky" up loud before he killed himself. His roommate, who was in the vicinity, which Jonathan didn't realize, heard the gunshot and discovered the gruesome scene. The roommate had to undergo "desensitization" therapy to remove the image from his mind.
Michele Goodstein said she had to take off several months from work, because she couldn't go back. She said that friends and family organized a casino night at the Sands in Atlantic Beach to raise money to increase awareness of suicide prevention. All $200,000 raised was used to fund the 26-minute film, which she hoped would be shown on every college campus in the country. One woman in the audience who said her son committed suicide eight years ago said the film needed to be used in high schools and colleges as a powerful tool for suicide prevention. "You've got to get this film into the school," she said, "even into the high schools and junior high schools, and to show it to the students."
PCC Executive Director Herb Ruben said the center has trained staff waiting to treat those who have suicidal tendencies. "If you know anyone who needs help, please let them know we are there for them," Ruben said.
Comments about this story? JLipton@liherald.com or (516) 569-4000 ext. 204.
