By JEFF LIPTON
But he found the help he needed 34 years ago when he joined Gambler’s Anonymous (GA), and he has stayed away from gambling ever since. Getting together with a group of compulsive gamblers every week during that time to discuss what gambling has done to their lives and the lives of their loved ones was the best move he’s ever made, he said.
“It saved my life,” said Dave, who did not want to use his last name to protect his identity.
Realizing the crucial need and importance of such groups, the Long Beach Medical Center has used a $6,000 grant to start holding GA meetings, offering help just a short distance away for residents of Long Beach and the surrounding communities.
Since Sept. 15, the counseling and support group has been meeting on Mondays, from 7:30 p.m. to 9:30 p.m. In addition to GA, a Gam-Anon group — for families of compulsive gamblers — has also been formed at the medical center, holding its meetings the same time as GA but in a different room.
For the first meeting, 18 people attended the GA gathering and four attended the Gam-Anon meeting, numbers medical center officials expect to increase as time goes on. The hospital’s psychologists and social workers are on hand to help the group members through difficult times.
As the economy worsens, many are turning to gambling as a way they think they could get easy money and are ending up in debt and in big trouble.
“It’s a very dangerous problem,” said Patricia Hincken, director of Alcohol and Substance Abuse Services at Long Beach Medical Center, who is in charge of the new programs to help gamblers and their families. “There’s a high suicide rate and there can be severe family repercussions. It can be a really devastating problem. ”
Hincken said compulsive gambling is “definitely an illness and is similar to chemical dependence.” The numbers are staggering, said Hincken, who added that 5 percent of New Yorkers 18 and over have experienced a gambling problem.
“A lot of youth are now gambling in school, or online with Internet sports betting,”Hincken said.
For Dave, the problem started when he was 13 and he was handed a football betting sheet to pick which NFL team would win with the point spread. From there, he visited Roosevelt Raceway to bet on the horses and at the age of 18 he had a bookmaker placing bets for him over the phone.
“I was convinced I was skillful,” said Dave, who has lived in Long Beach for nearly 50 years. “When I went to Roosevelt Raceway, I also won. When I found a bookmaker, that was it. It was as if I found God. It made it so easy to place a bet.”
He said compulsive gamblers don’t necessarily get a thrill from the potential of winning a lot of money, he said. “They get a great high from winning,”said Dave, who was once a former national trustee of GA and an assistant public relations director. “It’s a great feeling and I wanted to get that feeling over and over again. I needed to gamble every single day.”
Of course, he lost huge amounts of money along the way as well, but he would not say how much because he doesn’t want to make light of the amounts others have lost, no matter how small. A $5,000 loss or a $50,000 loss — it’s all the same in Dave’s eyes.
“The lowest point of my life, as it is for most compulsive gamblers, there was a feeling that I wanted to do away with myself. You have to make a decision about whether you want to live or not,” said Dave, who was 37 years old at the time.
Dave said he sought help from GA “out of desperation.” He said he owed so much money that he thought GA was a place that would lend him the cash he needed.
His wife, who did not want to give her name, said they were married for 15 years before she realized he was a compulsive gambler. She said her husband, who was an accountant, was gone from 7:30 a.m. to 11 p.m. He told her he was working all the time, when he was actually going to the racetrack.
They had two children and never had a family life or clothing or toys for the kids. “I was very lonely and unhappy,” she said. “We never went on vacations. I was like a widow. He never went anywhere with me. He told me he never really made much money at this job. I loved him so I believed him. Compulsive gamblers are also compulsive liars.”
She found out he was a problem gambler when he told her he was going to a GA meeting. “When he told me, I was in shock,” she said, adding that she became actively involved in Gam-Anon.
Dave said every compulsive gambler affects seven family members, who are often hit up for loans by the gambler. He added that anyone who wants to stop gambling can do so by attending GA meetings. Those who can’t stop aren’t trying hard enough, he added. GA constitutes two parts: abstinence and recovery, he said, adding that abstinence means steering clear of any gambling and recovery is “making amends to those who were harmed by the gambler. And I’m happy to say that I’ve made amends with everyone by paying them back.”
Anyone who wants to join or wants more information about the two new groups at the Long Beach Medical Center can call Hincken at (516) 897-1250.
Comments about this story? Jlipton@liherald.com or (516) 569-4000 ext. 213.
