By:Jerry Burke
I used to hate the DMV. The lines, the forms, the smells emanating from the huge guy in overalls who invariably sat next to me every single time I endured the four-hour waiting period to register my farm vehicles. To me, it was an insult to my dignity as a mostly law-abiding citizen.
But my last trip to the ninth circle of the DMV inferno taught me a valuable lesson, and I pulled what Republicans call a "flip-flop." (Democrats call it the ability to change one's mind based on new information. Wussies.)
As I sat there, citizen C329 (according to my bakery-style ticket), I looked around. People of all races, creeds, colors, religions, ages and, most important, wealth, were in the same boat as me. The DMV, with all of its diabolical rules and regulations, is the last true form of democracy left in these states.
My friends, we are all truly equal in the eyes of the DMV. All of us are held in similar contempt. It is a sight to behold.
If only Congress worked the same way.
As you know, the sun set on the controversial 1994 Assault Weapons Ban on Monday. The 19 weapons on the list and, more important, their super-sized clips of ammunition, are back on the street. Those opposed to the ban say the law had no teeth anyway, so come on down and protect your family with an AK-47, an Uzi or a TEC-9 today!
But wait, said the people! A well-researched poll showed that 68 percent of Americans, including 32 percent of National Rifle Association members, supported a renewal of the ban. The Senate listened, and 52 of them voted to extend it. Even President Bush said he supported the reauthorization of the law.
But that wasn't enough for the aptly named House Majority Leader Tom DeLay, who told a majority of Americans to go Cheney themselves. No vote on his overly successful watch!
Debate the merits or shortcomings of this bill as you see fit, but when 68 percent of Americans can agree on anything, one should take the opportunity to, oh, I don't know, maybe do something about whatever it is they agree on.
But Congress is certainly not the DMV. If you have the money, honey, you have its ear. The NRA, a sports club turned powerful lobbyist, has given millions of dollars' worth of political donations (85 percent of which goes to the right). And while it is in the NRA's power to sway the votes of its members, think about this: Are people in DeLay's conservative Texas district really going to vote for a pro-gun-control Democrat based on this one issue? If they can't vote DeLay out based on his penchant for selling congressional citations and skimming cash from his "children's charity," then the gun thing is probably moot.
The Second Amendment calls for a "well-regulated militia" before it mentions infringement of rights. Take a cue from the DMV: Regulation may be a hassle, but people who can't drive shouldn't have licenses. Guns, especially those hundreds of times more deadly than the ones available when the Constitution was written, should be as thoroughly regulated.
Otherwise, I want to drive a Bradley tank. Insurance premiums be damned!
