I'm not sure why this is true, but I would venture to say that it has a lot to do with finding joy in both my own growth, as well as helping nurture the growth of others.Maybe in order to feel truly grateful, one needs to have experienced, yet moved beyond, adversity or affliction. Sometimes such hardships are imposed on us, as in illness or loss. Other times, however, we create it ourselves by restricting our own potential, by never letting go of our burdens, by harboring only the negative, by making life harder for ourselves than it needs to be. The people who seem to be most appreciative of what they have are those who are aware of the difference between what used to be and what is now. Here are ten thankful stories that have been told to me.1 Back then I worried that everything (including myself) needed to be perfect. Now I'm thankful that I am no longer tyrannized by perfection. I appreciate that "good enough" is good enough. 2 Back then I was exhausted and a bundle of nerves, constantly worrying about what might go wrong. Now I'm thankful that I live each day without expecting a catastrophe to plop down on my doorstep. And if one day it does, I trust that somehow I'll be able to deal with it.3 Back then I was so wrapped up in pleasing others that I never thought about what I wanted. Now I'm thankful that I give consideration to my needs as well as others' needs and notice that I feel a lot less resentful.4 Back then my idea of a wild time was soaking in a Jacuzzi. Now, I'm thankful that I no longer let my fears restrict me from traveling and trying adventurous activities.5 Back then I felt I had few choices in life. Now I'm thankful that I see all the opportunities that are available to me and do not let my fears deprive me of them.6 Back then I was so envious about what other people had. Now I'm thankful for what I do have and, as trite as it may sound, I count my blessings.7 Back then I made the mistake of thinking my husband should rescue me from whatever pitfalls I might encounter. Now I'm thankful that I feel strong enough so that I don't need to be rescued and find it's not so hard to take responsibility for my own mistakes.8 Back then I was afraid to admit how angry I felt. Now I'm thankful that owning up to my angry feelings actually lets me feel more positive and hopeful. 9 Back then I had such little confidence in myself. I thought everything I did was wrong. Now I'm thankful that I have no need to put myself down. 10Back then I was afraid of dying. Now I'm thankful that I'm too busy living to worry about the day my life will end.Linda Sapadin, Ph.D., is a psychologist in private practice who specializes in helping individuals, families and couples overcome self-defeating patterns of behavior. She can be reached by e-mail at DrSapadin@aol.com. To read additional columns, visit www.psychwisdom.com. Copyright 2005.
