By MIKE CAPUTO
As soon as she walks in the door from work, that's what Liz Fox asks Cathy Parenti, who almost always has something planned.
Fox never knows what to expect from Parenti, her partner of 18 years. It could be almost anything: fundraising, volunteering or simply helping a friend in need.
"She doesn't like a lot of attention on herself," Fox said. "She just loves to give."
Parenti gave the ultimate gift to one underprivileged youth earlier this year - a home, and a promise: "We are a forever family," she said to Andre Fox-Parenti, 15, the newest member of the couple's household.
Most of those who know Parenti agree that her perennial devotion to others is kept low-profile and inconspicuous. All the more reason for the Herald to name her its 2008 Person of the Year.
"It's almost like a Superman kind of thing - the mild-mannered Clark Kent, and then he went out and put on his cape," said longtime friend Rosemary Hogarty. "That's the way she is."
Parenti, an East Meadow resident for 11 years, spends her days teaching children with autism and other special needs at P.S. 177 in Fresh Meadows, Queens. When the final school bell rings for the day, she immediately shifts to her multiple roles as mother, mentor, adviser, volunteer and friend.
Her first stop after school usually involves one of her adopted sons, Andre or Max Fox-Parenti, 13. Before he settled into Parenti and Fox's home in June, Andre's childhood consisted of orphanages in his native Russia and failed adoptions in America. Now a freshman at East Meadow High School, he has made several friends and is a member of the orchestra and the cross-country team.
Max, who had a similar past, was adopted by Parenti and Fox at age 8, and is now an accomplished student athlete at Woodland Middle School.
Stephanie Ackerman, whose son, Chris, has been friends with Max since third grade, sees the passion and commitment that Parenti devotes to her children. In five years, Max has grown from an uncertain, shy young boy into a confident, outgoing teenager, Ackerman said.
"Max understands that they are here for life," she said. "I don't know how much he remembers of his prior families, but they are making sure that he does remember this. It sends chills up the spine."
Parenti wants to help others share the gift that she and Fox have been able to offer Max and Andre. Both women are lead volunteers for the Adoptive Parents Committee of Long Island, which is based in Wantagh. The support group offers guidance and aid for people through the often difficult adoption process, and advocates for the cause of adoption.
Parenti had a desire to help troubled youths well before she adopted Max five years ago. While helping Fox as a Girl Scout leader in East Meadow, Parenti made it a mission to recruit middle and high school students in the area who had difficulty fitting in with their previous troops.
Beyond her drive to mold troubled children into key contributors to society, Parenti is involved in fundraising and volunteer efforts in East Meadow. She chooses a new charity on a month-to-month basis. Despite her teacher's salary, friends say Parenti finds ways to help organizations - going door to door, working phone banks, taking part in fundraising walks - no matter what the cause is.
"If there is a cause, you can ask her, and she's there," Hogarty said. "If she couldn't accomplish what you asked, she would facilitate it somehow. She would reach out to other people and get it going."
Parenti has supported charities funding the fights against afflictions including lupus, leukemia, autism, breast cancer, arthritis, lymphoma, heart disease and juvenile diabetes, and community organizations like the East Meadow Police Activities League and the fire department. She is a visible presence at PAL, pitching in when needed, often taking the photos of every player. She serves as a youth liaison for the Long Island Lizards, and helps out with Special Olympics events. She also volunteers at St. Brigid's Church in Westbury as a eucharistic minister, and has taught catechism there to special education students.
"It's amazing, because she flies under the radar and doesn't want awards or accolades," said Bill Alderman, a friend and admirer. "More people in East Meadow should be like this. It sets a great adult example for East Meadow."
Comments about this story? MCaputo@liherald.com or (516) 569-4000 ext. 287.
