By Paul Wein
A true believer in better living for seniors and a dedicated fighter in the battle against ageism, Tolkin has made this her life's work, and devotes nearly all her time to the betterment of the elderly who live here.
Among her many accomplishments this year - all on her own time, and without monetary compensation - was a forum she organized called "Ageism: The Last Prejudice," held Nov. 3 at Woodmere Middle School. Recognizing that there is increasing discrimination against the elderly, and that growing old has become the subject of jokes among many, Tolkin decided to bring to light how harshly seniors are treated, and how important it is to educate people about it.
"I saw that when I would be with my mother, people would talk to me and completely ignore her as if she was invisible," Tolkin said. "Then, as I got older, I noticed that my birthday cards were not as funny as they used to be." With such firsthand experience, Tolkin became aware of all kinds of bias against the aging. "It's a form of racism," she said. "People who discriminate against other groups, like African-Americans or homosexuals, will never become one, but everybody is going to get old."
The forum on ageism, which Tolkin organized with the help of Dr. Les Omotani, superintendent of the Hewlett-Woodmere Public Schools, was attended by 260 people, who listened to many community members of all ages discuss the dangers of ageism and why discrimination should not occur. Among those who spoke were Jessica Abrego, a senior at Hewlett High School, who discussed her experience volunteering at a nursing home in Franklin Hospital in Valley Stream, and Dr. Ronald Adelman, co-chief of the Division of Geriatrics and Gerontology at Cornell University Medical School, who said that by the year 2030, one of every five Americans will be 65 or older.
Many have told Tolkin that her forum was both successful and revolutionary, and she was even approached by the Council of Senior Centers and Services, which hopes to work with her to replicate the forum state-wide.
Besides the forum, Tolkin has done much for the senior community in the Five Towns. She has held caregiver's fairs and New Age expos. She helped organize, with the help of Gloria Kreizel, a beautification of the Five Towns Senior Center, on Franklin Place in Woodmere, making possible new carpet, fresh paint and pictures. Tolkin opened a dialogue with Five Towns Community Chest that led to the creation of an even stronger partnership between the agencies and a better outreach with other senior centers across the county.
She has worked closely with the National Council of Jewish Women, which works hand in hand with the center, providing volunteers, services and contributions to its functions. She recently began working on a curriculum that will teach children about ageism and the fact that discrimination takes many forms, and, as a member of the Woodmere school district's Advisory Committee, Tolkin is working to have a 4,400-square-foot senior center created on the grounds of Woodmere Middle School.
In light of all the hard work and selfless dedication that Tolkin, 66, has shown her community, the Herald is proud to name her its 2005 Person of the Year.
Tolkin has been an active member of the Five Towns Senior Center for decades, having served as both its executive director and president - and met her husband there. She says that although she has stepped down as president, she won't curtail her activism. "I am committed to working with older people, since I am one myself," she said. "I do not see myself slowing down. Although I have many family vacations planned in 2006, I made sure that my trips did not interfere with any of the board meetings at the center."
Many of Tolkin's colleagues and friends, as well as those who have benefited from her efforts, hold her in the highest regard. "Carole has, year after year, made sure that the senior community in the Five Towns is provided with programs and opportunities far beyond those of mortal men," said Nassau County Legislator Jeff Toback (D-Oceanside). "As our population ages, places like the Five Towns Senior Center will become more integral, and Carole's work will serve as a benchmark for years to come."
Richard Braverman, the incoming president of the senior center, describes Tolkin as "a very special lady. She has devoted so much time to the success of the center and is a tireless, very imaginative individual with an exceptional ability to point out problems and find solutions." Braverman also said that Tolkin is a "fabulous leader" and that her forum on ageism was "just one example of her leadership."
John Bigler, who was president of the senior center from 1995 to 2001, thinks Tolkin is "amazing. When she took over for me as president, she was very hands-on and aggressive. She is totally committed to the center." Bigler went on to say that her forum really brought the issue of ageism to light. "I didn't even dream that there was such a thing as ageism until Carole brought it up," he said. "That forum was all her."
"I have known her for five years, and I can tell you that her heart is truly in the senior center," said the center's executive director, Georgiana Wolfson. "We work very well together, and she has terrific connections on local, state and federal levels, which have really benefited the center as a whole."
Phyllis Kraus, a member of the center since 1991, has a personal reason why she thinks Carole Tolkin is, as she put it, "a terrific lady. She was the one who insisted that my husband join the center, because after he passed away, I was left with a circle of friends who knew him, which made it so much easier for me to deal with his passing. She truly has a great love for this center and its members."
