Person To Person

Speech patterns: weak or strong?
      Betty felt confused. Once again, she had spoken up (which was not easy for her) about vacation plans and her husband wasn't listening. This happens much too often, thought Betty. I must be doing something wrong. Whatever I want gets pushed aside and what others want (and it's not just my husband) gets paid attention to. How come?
      Good question! Betty was on to something important. She needed to recognize that her choice of words as well as her tone of voice greatly influence how serious others perceive her to be. Listen in on her conversation with her husband and notice how often Betty uses "women's speech" -- unsure, vague, careful, while her husband Al uses "men's speech" -- definite, forceful, strong.
      Betty: What should we do about Christmas vacation this year?
      Al: I want to go to Marco Island again this Christmas.
      Betty: I don't know. That's okay, but maybe it would be a good idea to go someplace different. Like, you know...
      Al: Different. Why? Marco Island had everything we wanted.
      Betty: Yeah, maybe. But a new area might be nice too, don't you think?
      Al: No. We ought to go to a place that has everything we want. Not take a chance on a place we don't know anything about.
      Betty: Well, I guess you're right.
      Al: Of course, I'm right. You'll see. Call tomorrow and make a reservation at the Hilton. You'll love it.
      If you, like Betty, feel the need to strengthen your speech, you must minimize the use of: (***bold qualifiers, tag questions, asking a question....making a statement)