So, just think about this improbable scenario and tell me how you think you would react.
You have 3 kids at home, one of them under a year old. You’re a full-time working mom with a husband who pitches in at times. However, since he has his own business and own interests, he’s not a major child care resource. Hence, you are grateful for the lifesaving nanny (and other household help) you have.
Though the household has been running smoothly for awhile, this year has presented two major problems. Your oldest child is in emotional turmoil and needs you to be there for her in a big way. Your youngest child shows signs of a developmental lag and requires special attention. Your middle child (thank God for middle children who seem to be able to take care of themselves) seems just fine.
Now, as if life didn’t have enough entanglements, much to your surprise, you’re offered a dream job! A once-in-a-lifetime opportunity! More responsibilities, more time to devote to the job, but more glory too! Oh, if only this opportunity didn’t come knocking at the door at this particular time. But it does. And to make matters more knotty, this golden opportunity requires a move out-of-state. Oh my!
Well, now it’s up to you. Think this through.
-What do you think your initial reaction would be?
-What do you think your final answer would be?
-Would the choice be a no-brainer or a grueling struggle?
-What would your choice say about you and your values?
But don’t just read these 4 questions. Take some time to think about your answers. Better yet, jot your answers down.
Now that you have imagined what you would do, recognize (if you haven’t already) that this issue was hot to trot these last few months. Yes, I’m talking about Sarah Palin’s situation (and yes, she’s got 5 kids, not 3). Just makes it more of a dilemma, wouldn’t you think?
Certainly Sarah Palin had a right to make the choice she did. But what does it say about her that she didn’t even ‘blink’ when offered the nomination. And what does it say about the media - and us - if our need to be politically correct is so strong, that we shied away from exploring this issue to avoid being labeled sexist.
Sometimes, the pressure to be politically correct can make us stupid. It can create pressure to avoid speaking about certain topics. It can also upend the concept of ‘family values’ that we profess to hold so dear.
If you think moral dilemmas like these are relevant only to women, think again. The media was fairly outspoken about John Edwards’ decision to run for president once his wife was diagnosed with terminal cancer. Pundits worried about whether his need to be there for his 2 young children and his wife would (or should) distract him from his presidential responsibilities. Fair question, don’t you think? Since Edwards’ upended himself, voters were off the hook in deciding how to react.
Now back to you. If you had the opportunity of a lifetime – be it a dream job or other activity that would throw havoc into your family life, what would you do?
Whoever said life was easy?
Copyright 2008
Linda Sapadin, Ph.D. is a psychologist and personal coach in private practice who specializes in helping people enrich their lives, enhance their relationships and overcome self-defeating patterns of behavior. For more information about her work, contact her at lsapadin@drsapadin.com or visit her website at http://www.psychwisdom.com/.
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