By: Hector Flores
The Community Parent Center and North Bellmore district organized the event. Wendy Tepfer, a Parent Center representative, said there were recent cases in which children were approached by strangers. As a result, district officials developed a program geared at providing parents with the tools to protect their children from possible abduction.
"We want to send this message without instilling fear," she said. "However, we want parents to be cautious and aware if the situation [an abduction attempt] arises."
Dominic Mucci, superintendent of the North Bellmore School District, explained that since September, there have been three instances in which children have been approached by strangers. Two of them occurred in North Bellmore and the third in Merrick.
"We had a situation in our own district, where a child was approached by a stranger at Gunther and ran home," Mucci said. "Another was confronted at Virginia Avenue on the way to school." The guardians in both cases brought their child to the school, and police were present to gather information."
According to Mucci, the last incident happened in Merrick. He added that after each incident, parents were immediately notified.
The North Bellmore district invited Tom Gilberti, police officer from the Nassau County Police Department, to lecture at the forum.
Gilberti began by saying that children are trusting of adults and told parents that they need to teach them to never go anywhere by themselves and to watch out for lures, which are used by adults to make unwanted advances on children. Some lures include:
¥ The assistance lure, when a child is asked for directions to a landmark or popular place and agrees to go with the stranger. They may even be asked to help find a dog.
¥ The affection lure, usually committed by someone the child knows. In this case, a child is caught off guard when a parent, relative, neighbor or family acquaintance makes advances. Children who are starved for affection are usually susceptible.
¥ The authority lure, where figures of importance, such as coaches, clergy, parents and scout leaders, exploit their positions to sexually assault or kidnap a child.
¥ The bribery lure, where children are offered candy and toys, while older children are offered money, alcohol or drugs. This lure is used to entice youngsters into situations were sexual contact can be initiated.
¥ The ego game, where molesters use compliments and offers of fame and fortune to lure children into abuse or abduction.
¥ And the emergency lure, where a stranger will try to worry a child by telling them that their parents are in danger and they need to go with the stranger in order to make sure the parents are OK.
According to Gilberti, the best way to safeguard a child against any of these lures is for a parent to role-play each scenario. Parents should also instruct their child to agree to never accompany a stranger if they need help or to accept any gifts. Most important, children should never allow themselves to be touched anywhere that feels uncomfortable.
Gilberti explained that in order for an abduction or an abuse to take place, a perpetrator needs three things: desire, ability and opportunity. "Criminals don't look for victims, they look for opportunity," he said.
Parents were also told that children should know how to spell their full names and dial their phone numbers using any type of phone, rotary, regular or cell.
But most important, Gilberti said that parents should create an atmosphere of trust and understanding, and keep all lines of communications open. He explained that when an incident occurs, a children are often afraid to tell their parents what happened because they're afraid of what they might say. He suggests that parents talk to their children in a comfortable manner and never show them that they are upset.
"You want them to know that you can handle any problem," he said.
Parents can look for other sure signs that their child has suffered from abuse. "Be aware of their hygiene, friends, a drop in grades and if they start to get snappy," Gilberti cautioned.
Gilberti also offered the following safety tips to help prevent child abuse: be cautious of adults taking special interest on your child; be involved; learn as much as you can about the baby sitter; teach kids to trust their instincts; befriend their friends' parents; and attend a child's first play date.
Nancy Kaufman, of North Bellmore, thought the seminar was informative. "It's great that they are teaching us these safety tips so we can teach our children", she said. "There are many kids who believe that because the incidents reported turned out to be false alarms, that they won't happen to them, but they have to realize that the reason why nothing happened is because the kids involved did the right thing."
The Parent Center is also planning on hosting future programs on Internet Safety and kindergarten connection. For more information, call (516) 771-9346.
