Thursday, October 1, 2026
Eight years after losing her best friend to cancer, Lauren Marquardt still finds meaning in the number 11, and has turned a childhood friendship formed on Rockville Centre playing fields into a lifelong promise to “be like Mary.”
Marquardt met Mary Ruchalski when they were both 9, and on basketball courts, lacrosse fields and softball diamonds, they grew, side by side, their friendship quickly expanding beyond sports. Despite attending separate schools, Ruchalski at St. Agnes and Maquardt at Hewitt Elementary, they were the closest of friends.
“I coached those little girls when they were young in basketball,” Eugene Marquardt, Lauren’s father, recalled. “Her connection with her friend, it’s kind of transcendent. It’s amazing.”
Changes came in sixth grade, when Ruchalski was diagnosed with cancer. At an age when most children are just beginning to find themselves, Marquardt said, she was forced to confront something much bigger — an experience that helped shape her faith.
“It was definitely really hard to wrap my head around the fact that this was happening at such a young age,” she said. “That’s where my faith really started to kick in as well, because you can’t control these emotions by yourself.”
While Ruchalski underwent treatment, Marquardt visited her often — in the hospital and at appointments — helped by prayer and the support of her community. Despite the diagnosis, she said, Ruchalski did not define herself by her illness. When they were together, they avoided talking about it, choosing instead to watch movies and spend time as they always had.
“Mary never really viewed herself as sick, so we wouldn’t really acknowledge the fact that she was,” Marquardt remembered. “Her whole journey truly inspired me — just how brave she was and how she always tried to see the best in everything. She was so incredibly strong, and it puts a lot into perspective at such a young age.”
Ruchalski died on March 11, 2018, just two days shy of her 13th birthday. She had worn jerseys sporting No. 11 in sports, and died at 11:11 p.m.
“I know at that point, Mary was greeted by all these angels,” Marquardt said. “I just know it was a beautiful way of her entering heaven.”
Now, at age 21, Marquardt, who still lives in Rockville Centre, continues to honor her friend’s legacy. “I can’t think of a better way of having Mary’s legacy go on than that,” Carol Ruchalski, Mary’s mother, said. “It’s just very heartwarming.”
Marquardt ran her first half marathon in New York City on March 15 in Ruchalski’s honor, raising nearly $3,000 for The Mary Ruchalski Foundation, which was created by the Ruchalskis in 2018 to raise awareness of pediatric cancer and help fund its research.
“I reached mile 11 at 11:11 a.m.,” Marquardt recounted. “Those were Mary’s numbers growing up — she was 11 in sports — and that was a crazy moment for me. I was like, ‘Wow, she’s really with me right now.’”
Despite having little training and having just returned from a mission trip to El Salvador, Marquardt felt compelled to run. “Just running it for her definitely motivated me throughout the whole race,” she said. “I felt like she was with me the entire time. And just doing it for such a good cause really makes you not want to give up throughout the whole race as well.”
Marquardt was in El Salvador during the week of what would have been Ruchalski’s 21st birthday, as well as the anniversary of her death. There Marquardt worked with children and families in need — something she said her friend would have appreciated.
“We partnered up with an organization that helps build houses for the people there,” she said. “And we were able to help the families and play with the kids, which was so amazing.”
Now a nursing student at Catholic University, in Washington, D.C., Marquardt plans to pursue a career in pediatric oncology, inspired in part by the care she saw during Ruchalski’s treatment.
“The care that the nurses provided for Mary, and all the families going through pediatric cancer, really touched my heart and impacted me,” Marquardt said. “And the calling just became stronger as I grew up. I was like, ‘This is exactly where I need to be and what I need to do.’ And she’s just truly helped me — our friendship is a huge part of who I am today.”
Honoring Ruchalski isn’t limited to special events, she said, but is part of her daily life. Marquardt still wears a light-blue bracelet that reads “be like Mary,” a phrase that has become both a personal reminder and a message she shares with others.
“Mary has been a driving force for how Lauren carries herself and acts each and every day,” her mother, Renee Marquardt, said. “There truly is no stopping Lauren once she sets her mind to something, and it’s been a joy to watch her determination in action.”
Reflecting on her friend’s influence on her, Marquardt said that one lesson in particular was shaped by both faith and experience: Even in difficult moments, there is still light to be found.
The way Ruchalski lived, Marquardt said, taught her to look beyond the moment and recognize a greater purpose in everything. That has helped her inspire others to find light even in difficult circumstances, and to believe that there is always something positive. You just have to be willing to search for it.
