Thursday, October 1, 2026
The Compassionate Friends of Rockville Centre, a local chapter of the nationally known organization that supports bereaved parents and siblings, will celebrate its 25th birthday in October. The group was founded by Rockville Centre residents, Elaine and Joe Stillwell, after their two oldest children, 21-year-old Denis O’Connor and 19-year-old Peggy O’Connor, died in a 1986 car accident. The support group had its first meeting on Oct. 9, 1987 at Molloy College and is still there 25 years later, welcoming heartbroken parents, offering them understanding, comfort, friendship and tools for coping and surviving the loss of their child of any age and from any cause. The Stillwells continue as chapter leaders today and as Elaine says, “Be careful what you start! Who would dream we would be doing this 25 years later, but we are a close-knit group, like family now.”
Thirty-six people came that first night and presently 60-70 parents the group’s monthly meetings at Molloy College on the second Friday of every month at 8 p.m. The group recently moved from the second to the first floor of the Wilbur Arts Building, making its new home in the Hayes Theatre, (recently renovated to be a meeting room) to learn about the grief process and to find hope and inspiration. There are no dues or fees to join this non-denominational group which offers a huge lending library of grief books, a monthly newsletter and helpful meeting hand-outs, in addition to meeting other parents who share what they have learned to cope and survive. Whether the death is from a heart-related problem, cancer, car accident, overdose, suicide, homicide, or other cause, parents find the blessing of not having to walk alone. They learn the chapter’s mantra: “If their song is to continue, then we must do the singing.”
TCF of RVC is recognized as having the largest meeting attendance of all 630 U.S. chapters, as it services bereaved parents from Nassau, Suffolk, Queens and beyond. Counselors, social workers, hospitals, schools, churches and agencies refer bereaved parents to TCF of RVC because of its long-standing, sterling reputation earned from years of reaching out to so many persons.
After retiring from a long teaching career, Chapter Leader Elaine Stillwell became the first bereavement coordinator for the Diocese of Rockville Centre where she(1998-2010), trained facilitators and created programs in 134 Long Island parishes from 1998-2010, helping grieving families and chairing the diocese’s annual Bereavement Conference which welcomed 400-500 persons every spring. Determined to use her own tragic circumstances to benefit others in grief, she is a popular keynote and workshop speaker throughout the U.S. and the author of “The Death of a Child: Reflections for Grieving Parents” (2004). Stillwell is also a columnist for the national magazine “Grief Digest” (2003-present). And in 2011, she was honored as Nassau County’s “Senior Citizen of the Year,” recognized for her years of bereavement work, locally and nationally.
For further information, you can contact Elaine and Joe at (516) 766-4682 or visit the chapter’s website: www.tcfofrvc.org. TCF of RVC also offers a support group for Adult Siblings (ages 18 and older) who have lost their brother or sister, which meets the same night, same time, same building, but in the basement, Room 18. Theresa Pellegrino, LMHC, a bereaved sibling, has facilitated the group since 1998. Because it is hard to find groups for bereaved siblings, TCF members are grateful that there is help for their remaining children who are often referred to as “the forgotten mourners.”
Compassionate Friends, old and new, will celebrate the milestone 25th birthday of the RVC Chapter at a special luncheon set for Oct. 7 at Pompei Ristorante, West Hempstead. “It’s a day [when] members will leave their grief at the door, enjoy the strength of being together, feel their children’s heavenly presence surrounding them, and sense their children happily applauding that they have chosen life,” said Stillwell.
