By ALEX COSTELLO
But from his grief came the desire to make a difference and raise awareness of suicide prevention. And now, at age 58, Wenk - who is officially George Wenk Jr. but doesn't use the qualifier - has begun training so he can make a difficult journey: a 150-mile walk from the steps of Oceanside High School, where all of his children went, to Manchester, Conn.
"[My son's] wife happened to see online that, coincidentally on his birthday, there was a [suicide awareness] walk," Wenk said of the Out of the Darkness walk in Manchester on Oct. 17. "So it all started with her signing the family up for that walk because it was his birthday."
The family considered the date of the walk a sign that they should participate in it. But the elder Wenk decided to go even farther - literally.
Wenk began his training on July 7, his 58th birthday, on the Long Beach boardwalk. Nearly 100 friends, family members and supporters came out to cheer him on. "This is the beginning of the campaign," he said. "We're going from my birthday to his birthday."
Wenk, who owns Oceanside Plumbing, added, "We feel that raising awareness is just as good as raising money. At this point, the thinking on suicide is so antiquated and so hidden away in the closet, and we're losing so many people to it, that I think the thinking has to change."
Wenk's son, who was 30, took his own life in April, six days after losing his job. He left behind his wife of 2 1/2 years, Michelle, and their 1-year-old daughter, Avery. "He was under some intense job stress for about three or four weeks, and then ultimately lost his job," Michelle said. "And six days later, that was that."
Michelle and the rest of the family were caught off guard, though, because George displayed no outward signs of depression and voiced no thoughts of suicide. "He was rock solid," Wenk said of his son. "He was a career guy, doing well, and had a brand new family. We all had no idea he had these terrible feelings of hopelessness and helplessness and not knowing what to do."
To learn more, Wenk turned to the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, through which he met Dale Camhi, the organization's Long Island regional director. "George has a very compelling story," Camhi said. "He really wants to get out there and get the message out, and he's gone a long way to doing that already."
When Wenk told Camhi of his idea for the 150-mile walk, she was behind him all the way. "I said, 'George, that's perfect. We're going to see you off at the Long Island walk on October 4,'" Camhi recalled.
The Long Island walk, held in Old Westbury, is, according to Camhi, the largest of more than 200 walks the AFSP holds nationwide each fall. "We usually have about 1,000 people," she said. "This year, I'm anticipating probably 1,200."
Wenk plans to take part in the Long Island walk and then, three days later, on Oct. 7, to begin his journey to Manchester. "We've created a team - it's called Journey for Life - and that's my family and friends. That's my support system," Wenk said. The route has been broken down into 10 segments, with Wenk walking approximately 15 miles each day. According to Camhi, other people have done similar long walks to raise awareness of suicide prevention, but this is the first time she is aware of that someone has walked from one Out of Darkness walk to another.
As of now, Wenk has no sponsors. He will pay for his journey himself, so any money he raises will go to the AFSP. Camhi is hoping to get AFSP members along the way to help him out. "We're checking with our chapters along the way to see if we can get him some housing and some meals and get people to come out and support him," she said. "It will be fantastic."
"To lose George to suicide is unfathomable," said Michelle Wenk. "Not only would I never expect to lose someone in my circle to suicide, but I would never expect it to be George.
"It is so important that people open their eyes to suicide, to understand what causes it and to know that it can happen to anyone, including the person they'd least expect," she added. "It's an idea that likely seems like the right one in the moment, but which cannot be taken back. People need to understand what suicide does to those around them. We are not left better off without them."
Comments about this story? ACostello@liherald.com or (516) 569-4000 ext. 207.
