By Nicole Falco
Robert Howard, pastor of Grace United Methodist Church, Father Stephen Brigandi, associate Pastor of Holy Name of Mary Church, and Father Aloysius Pakianather of Blessed Sacrament Church, were each bid a fond farewell, but with regret.
The three men said so long to their parish communities at three separate receptions at different stages in their ministries, yet they all are leaving not because they necessarily want to, but because they must.
Howard has been a pastor well over 40 years and spent almost 29 of those in Valley Stream. Howard, 70, is being forced into retirement because of a Methodist Church law that states, "Every clergy member of an annual conference who will have attained age 70 on or before July 1 in the year in which the conference is held shall automatically be retired." Howard turned 70 in December.
June 30 is officially his last day at Grace. He and his family, including his wife Barbara, daughter Betsy and grandchildren, Robert and Henry, will move to Connecticut.
Brigandi was ordained a priest in 1997 after studying at the Immaculate Conception Seminary in Huntington. His first assignment was Holy Name. After five years in Valley Stream, Brigandi is being transferred to Our Lady of Lourdes Church in West Islip in order to continue his growth as a priest. Brigandi said he cannot stay in Holy Name and reach his ultimate goal of becoming a pastor because church rules require a pastor to have experience in more than one parish.
Pakianather was ordained a priest 24 years ago in his native Sri Lanka. Though he served in three churches in Sri Lanka, Blessed Sacrament was his first American assignment. To become a full member of the Diocese of Rockville Centre, Pakianather must serve in at least two parishes. His new assignment is Rose of Lima Church in Massapequa and he will preside over his first mass there on Friday morning.
The three men, as well as Howard's family, stood at the head of very long receiving lines at the receptions following each of their last Sunday services in their respective parishes. In each church, it was standing room only.
Numerous congregants took to the altar at Grace and offered Howard their best wishes.
Brian Schweigert, Howard's "right hand man," said, "I'd like to talk about the things you can't see, like his work ethic. I only hope that at 40 I can do what Pastor Howard does at 70...the way he does things because he wants to do them and not because he has to; but more important, he taught me how to be a better person."
Many agreed with that sentiment, including Marie White, a former Grace Church lay leader, who was a member of the Pastor-Parish Relations Committee that interviewed and eventually selected Howard in 1973.
"Then we felt he had potential to lead us in rejuvenating our church and we weren't wrong," said White.
Eric Bjorneby, a longtime Grace member and current chairman of the Pastor-Parish Relations Committee, best summed up Howard's leadership. "[Howard] didn't start this congregation. That was done by someone else almost 100 years ago. [He] didn't build these buildings. That was done 40 years ago by someone else. But what [he] did was take these church buildings and this congregation and made them into a church home and church family."
Though he, as well as the Grace congregation and the Valley Stream community, has all along expressed his reluctance to leave and disagreement with the retirement rule enforced by Bishop Ernest Lyght of the United Methodist Conference in White Plains, Howard's last sermon and service were filled with "Amazing Grace." George Simmons, music director, led the youth orchestra, choir, and other music groups in a unique arrangement of the religious hymn.
In addition, in his final sermon, Howard said, "Grace makes the world go round. ... Apply this thought to any of the many successful human relationships in which we find ourselves. ... Grace is never cheap or easy, but it is indispensable. ... [After] 1700 sermons ... if you remember nothing else ... I hope you will hold this in your minds and hearts as Pastor Howard's theme song: that everything that counts finally and forever is grace."
At Holy Name, hundreds gathered on the church lawn for Brigandi's reception.
"To see him coming was very nice. To see him leaving is something very sour. You don't come across many people like him, said James Tracey, a 50-year parish member.
Town Councilman James Darcy presented a certificate of recognition to Brigandi and Mayor Edward Cahill presented him with a citation from the village.
Darcy, a parishioner, said, "The man is fabulous. In the five years he has been here my kids love him. He walked into his first assignment here as if he had been doing it for so many years. From the start he fit right in and made an impact immediately."
Among Brigandi's responsibilities, he was in charge of the altar servers.
"He was really nice. He always supported me in altar service and anything I had a goal in he would help me with," said Michael Keane, 11.
Father Thomas Harold, pastor of Holy Name, said Brigandi has definitely learned a lot during his first assignment.
"He grew in his ministry in all sorts of ways: with children, with the bereaved, he grew in his leadership, and in confidence," Harold said. "He really is a very unassuming, giving person who wasn't looking for anything in return, which is unusual today."
At Blessed Sacrament's reception for Pakianather in McKeon Hall, the praise was similar.
"He came here for four months for a temporary assignment and stood ten years," said Father Greg Cappuccino, pastor of Blessed Sacrament. "He had the ability to touch the lives of families and individuals of all ages from the smallest child to a senior citizen. He's also a real student. It was very important for him to become better at understanding the American culture ... so he could fit into a culture that is very different from his own."
Besides counseling and moderating numerous church groups, Pakianather often visited the classrooms, which may be where he left his greatest impression.
"I liked that he would bring in toys. He tells jokes. Just him being very funny and very nice," said Anthony Rodriguez, 11.
Rodriguez is an altar server and is called "Deacon Tony" by Pakianather because he hopes to one day be ordained a deacon.
Christine Nizzi, 10, was in charge of gluing the heart-shaped messages on the "We love you Father Al," poster.
Nizzi said, "I'm going to miss him that he always made everyone laugh. He always made everyone smile with his jokes."
Neither Brigandi nor Pakianather will be replaced because there aren't enough priests to go around. Harold and two associate pastors will make do at Holy Name and Cappuccino and one associate pastor will make do at Blessed Sacrament with the help of deacons and visiting priests.
Ironically, Howard's replacement, Rev. Dr. John Carrington is 75-years-old and was appointed to a one-year, interim term, until Grace's Pastor-Parish Relations Committee can find a suitable, long-term replacement. Carrington, a former Methodist Church district superintendent, is a retired pastor. Now that he is retired, Howard, like Carrington, is eligible for reappointment, but to a church other than Grace.
