By Anthony Rifilato
She last logged in on Oct. 22, and although she had been hospitalized with an infection around her heart and battled a fever, the 30-year-old co-founder and president of the Special Education Parent Teacher Association remained active.
Rafalowitz sent e-mails to members from her laptop and made phone calls while hooked up to an IV. Friends and family said she was excited about upcoming projects and events. There were activities to organize for SEPTA, including a pumpkin fundraiser for kids at Shubert and Meadow Schools, a national PTA conference in Albany, an ADHD forum and a lollipop fundraiser, among others.
"She was in the hospital and working seamlessly through her computer," said Rafalowitz's friend, SEPTA member Jennifer Ryley. "She was sending out e-mails and everything. You wouldn't even know she was in the hospital if she didn't say so."
After her release a few weeks ago, however, things took a turn for the worse, and the 1995 Baldwin High School graduate, who was credited with re-igniting the fledgling SEPTA and praised as an advocate for special education children, died of cardiac arrest on Oct. 23 following a seizure at her Milburn Avenue home.
Those who knew Rafalowitz were shocked by her death, and said that her loss would be felt throughout the community. Her family remembered her as a loving daughter and sister and a doting aunt who put others before herself. She is survived by her mother and father, Nesslene and Jan; her brother, Lee; and sisters LuAlana, Jodi and Beth Murray.
"We will never heal from this loss," said Murray at her sister's funeral last week. "We've now lost a part of ourselves."
The Board of Education held a moment of silence in honor of Rafalowitz at last week's Community Input meeting at Baldwin High - an event Rafalowitz had planned to attend - and she was lauded for her work on behalf of children and students.
"She did it for no other reason than to help children who couldn't help themselves," said SEPTA's Donna DeSantis.
A past school board candidate, Rafalowitz headed Baldwin SEPTA, which was chartered in May 2005 under the Nassau Region of the New York State PTA and provides advocacy, education and support for special education students in Baldwin.
"I have never come across a person with so much passion for children," said Rabbi Lippy Templer. "She was unbelievably forgiving. In Jewish history, the mother of all Jews was Sarah, the one who opened doors for everyone. She practiced her name very well."
A friendly face
Rafalowitz was friendly and approachable. On her MySpace page, she listed writing poetry, shopping with friends, singing karaoke and volunteer work among her interests. One of her pet projects through SEPTA was the arts and crafts program for children she held at the library each year. She was a fan of the TV show "7th Heaven" and listened to everything from the Beach Boys to Matisyahu. Hundreds turned out for her funeral service at Gutterman's Chapel in Rockville Centre, many wearing purple, her favorite color, which adorned SEPTA T-shirts and literature.
During her time in the hospital, she spoke to the Herald about a number of events she was planning, and also about her work as vice president of communications for Baldwin Daliya Hadassah, saying that she had recently joined the group and was one of the youngest members to be given such a position. She seemed optimistic and happy, and even wrote an article for the Herald about Hadassah.
"She wanted to become involved because it was a communal atmosphere, one where she could make a difference," said Hadassah President Jill Kaplan. "She was really a light for all of our lives."
Shy as a child, Sarah eventually opened up, friends said. "She was at one time very shy, but she sure came out of it," said Ed Cohen, who met Rafalowitz five years ago through America Online's Jewish community. "Sarah had a passion for Judaism." Cohen added that she got involved with the South Baldwin Jewish Center and its Sisterhood organization. "She loved Friday night kabbalat Shabbat services, the shul seders and other events," Cohen said. "She was truly a Yiddishe Tochter - a Jewish daughter - whose feeling for Judaism knew no bounds."
Ryley met Rafalowitz when she was a teenager working at Genovese supermarket, and recalled how the amiable employee would share an "extra glance that said 'I know you.' She included everyone in her life."
A civic leader takes charge
As Rafalowitz grew older, many said, her civic involvement blossomed. She got involved with SEPTA to fight for better special education services in the district, and quickly boosted the organization's membership. Last year she was vice president of membership, and the organization had the highest membership numbers in three years, enlisting nearly 200 members.
Though she ran unsuccessfully for the school board, SEPTA was formed in part to advocate for special education students. "A lot of people were having problems with special education in the district at that time, and that's when she started to get things done," said DeSantis.
Rafalowitz became a regular at school board meetings and asked tough questions, sometimes to the chagrin of administrators, board members and PTA parents. She held fund-raisers, arranged events and fought for a range of services for students, including more full-time nurses in the school district.
"She was very good at dealing with bureaucrats," Cohen said. "She had a passion for helping children with disabilities and learning problems. She was a pistol. I've seen her in action at Board of Education meetings."
But she always kept things civil and had the community's best interests in mind, something that school board President James Scannell noted last week.
"She was supposed to attend the Community Input meeting to present purple roses on behalf of SEPTA to board members, to thank them for being so dedicated to the education of children in Baldwin," Ryley said.
Once, Cohen recalled, Rafalowitz traveled by bus - she didn't drive - to Illinois to help a friend's children with a problem at school, since Sarah knew special education laws inside and out and was savvy at board meetings. This year, she became president of SEPTA, even though she had no children. "She always felt funny being president, because she had no kids and worried about what people might think about that," DeSantis said. "She looked forward to being president, even though we had to talk her into it. She was phenomenal. She took control even in the hospital. She did a lot of things behind the scenes. She was always just so in charge."
Rafalowitz was on hand at Meadow Elementary School Oct. 15 for the pumpkin fundraiser, at which more than 400 pumpkins were given to special education students. She had been released from the hospital the previous weekend, but she still felt ill, friends said. "When she left the hospital, she went home for three or four days, but her fever wasn't getting much better and she wasn't feeling well," said Cohen. "She wanted to get out of the hospital and get back to work."
On Friday, Oct. 19, Cohen took Rafalowitz to services at South Baldwin Jewish Center. There her fever spiked, and she was taken back to the hospital. She was released the following Monday, but on Tuesday, Cohen said, he heard the devastating news from her mother. Many of her friends said that Rafalowitz sometimes hinted that the worst might happen, and that her time was limited.
"She had wanted her father to make three CDs on how to run SEPTA for me," DeSantis said, adding that Rafalowitz sounded different the night before she died. "I personally think she did that because she knew. She was tired of it all - the doctors, nurses and IVs."
"She knew it was her time to go, and she was comforted," her sister said. "At a young age, Sarah realized her purpose was to help others. She was always willing to help, and never expected anything in return. She tried to make the world a better place."
Perhaps Rafalowitz was most prophetic on MySpace, where she wrote: "When I leave this world, I would like to leave knowing that I have tried to make a difference! I hope I have touched at least one person's life before I do leave this world."
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