Taking steps against bullying

 “It’s never OK to bully someone,” Jeremy Glicksman told parents and students. “But kids don’t realize that. They think it’s OK. They need a rationale; they need to make sense of it.”

Glicksman, a Nassau County assistant district attorney and a member of the county’s Economic Crimes Bureau, spoke to more than 30 parents, students and staff at Long Beach High School on Monday in a presentation called “S.T.O.P. Then Send.” The program was part of an effort to address the growing issue of cyber-bullying, Internet predators and trends such as “sexting.” S.T.O.P. stands for “Study the content,” “Think about others,” “Only send if appropriate” and “Pictures are forever.”

Glicksman, part of the district attorney’s Technology Crimes Unit, which handles computer-based crimes involving hackers, Internet predators, online harassment and sexting, examined the dangers children and teens face when they surf the Internet and use social media.

He defined cyber-bullying as the use of computers, cell phones and other electronic devices to inflict intentional harm on others. “Cyber-bullying is the same thing as bullying,” Glicksman said. “It’s occurring over the Internet, [but] there’s one big difference. … What happens on the Internet stays forever.”

The presentation came amid recent complaints about bullying at the high school and harrowing reports of high school and college students elsewhere who have taken their own lives because they were victims of bullying.

According to statistics from the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children, which were included in the presentation, 43 percent of teens ages 13 to 17 have been cyber-bullied, but only 10 percent of the victims tell their parents. Eighty-one percent of teens say they have been cyber-bullied because the bully “thinks it’s funny.”

In an age when children can upload images instantaneously on social networking sites, District Attorney Kathleen Rice said that the “S.T.O.P. Then Send” initiative may make cyber-bullies think twice about pressing “send.”

“School bullies are nothing new, but the rising influence of technology and social media has taken harassment and intimidation to new heights,” Rice said in a statement. “The S.T.O.P. Then Send program not only educates students, parents and teachers about the dangers of cyber-bullying and the Internet, but it also sends a strong message to students that the decision to press ‘send’ can have far-reaching and devastating consequences to themselves and others.”

Glicksman explained that cyber-bullying can include spreading rumors, tricking people to get personal information, sending or forwarding nasty messages and posting pictures without consent. He stressed that if a child is being bullied in any way, he or she should approach an adult, who should take responsibility and help the child. Otherwise, he said, the child will continue to accept the bullying.

“If they come to you, help them,” Glicksman said. “Be responsible adults. It is the most important thing you can do for this child.” He added, “If you don’t help the child, there’s no future for this child.”

Glicksman described sexting as texting sexual messages or sexually explicit photos on cell and smart phones, and said there is a connection between sexting and cyber-bullying. If a picture or video, for example, is shared by two people but is later disseminated on social networks, the Web and cell phones — and others comment on it — that is considered a form of bullying, he explained.

The consequences of cyber-bullying and sexting, Glicksman said, include damaged reputations, disciplinary actions at school and even criminal charges.

He described the signs that a child is being cyber-bullied: he or she suddenly avoids using computers or cell phones, acts nervous when he or she receives an e-mail or text message, withdraws from friends and family members and is suddenly uneasy about going to school.

Middle school Vice Principal Michele Natali said she thought the presentation was informative, but added that she was disappointed by the turnout. “I was surprised that there weren’t as many parents in the audience,” Natali said. “It is such a serious issue.”

Like any school, Long Beach High has had its share of bullying incidents, but Natali said that both the middle school and high school are taking necessary steps to head them off and create a safe environment for students.

On Dec. 10, for example, middle school students from every grade signed an anti-bullying pledge called “Not on My Watch.” In addition, the district implemented the districtwide Character Education Program, designed to help students learn responsibility and become good-natured, well-rounded

citizens.

One parent, Karen Dinan said she came to the meeting to become more informed. “There’s a lot out there that we don’t know about,” said Dinan, who was accompanied by her daughter, a student in the middle school. Dinan said that that she wanted her daughter, and herself, to be up to date on cyber-bullying and other issues. “I want her to be aware, and I want to be aware,” she said.

George Krzeminski, who said his daughter, Maria, 15, is being bullied at the high school, added that he thought the presentation was “very helpful, but there’s still a lot more that needs to be discussed.” Krzeminski said he believes the high school needs to take additional steps to address issues like cyber-bullying.

“I’m a victim of being bullied since the eighth grade,” Maria said. She later approached her dean about creating an anti-bullying club, which the school did. The meetings usually attract 15 to 20 students.

Natali said that bullying often occurs where adults can't see it.

“We’re getting a lot of information out to teachers and students,” said Natali. “Sometimes parents will alert us, and we can try to address it in school. We appreciate when parents bring to our attention things going on the Internet, cyberspace, or [via] text messaging on the phone. When parents let you know about these things, [we] can intervene.”

Statistics from the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children:

* 55% of teens use social networking sites

* 43% of those ages 13 to 17 have been cyber-bullied

* 53% of teens admit to sending a hurtful message

* 10% of bullying victims tell their parents

* 81% say they’ve been cyber-bullied because the bully “thinks it’s funny.”

Comments about this story? CEngelhardt@liherald.com or (516)-569-4000 Ext. 207