Talk to the Teacher

I usually pride myself on being a healthy person and I try to teach my students how to stay healthy. Yet, I, too, got sick last week! What happened?
It's so important to take care of oneself when working with kids! After all, if we get sick, who will take care of the children? These days, most of us already know what we should be doing to stay physically fit. We know we are supposed to eat healthy foods - lots of fresh vegetables and low-fat proteins. We know to drink water and to exercise. We know fast foods are bad for us and that we shouldn't eat too many sweets. But, we can be eating healthy and getting exercise and still. get sick. Stress weakens the body's immune system, and working with kids is stressful. Most kids will go out of their way to test the adults in their lives. From the time they can walk and talk, children set out to explore the world around them. They want to know that we will be there when they come back from these explorations and they fight us when we set limits as to how far they may travel. Yet, in order for them to mature healthily, we absolutely need to set those boundaries and maintain them. This may be difficult enough when the child is a toddler, but by the time he or she is a middle-schooler, and an adolescent, it can be extremely trying on parents and teachers alike.
That's why it's crucial that I maintain good health. But, I must have forgotten that good health begins with maintaining a clear head. If I don't take time each day to meditate, I risk falling prey to all the intense emotions my students bring with them into the classroom. Feelings are powerful, and they are contagious.
I first noticed my students' attendance falling right before the English Language Arts Exam last month. Students must write four essays in this grueling two-day exam, and in order to be prepared, their English teacher had been assigning them several practice essays a night for homework. My students were feeling an enormous amount of pressure and they were getting ill from it. It was painful to watch them holding a tissue in one hand, sniffling and coughing, while trying to complete homework for the English teacher and at the same time, to follow along with my lesson!
And this wasn't the only drama I had to be wary of. Some of my seniors are struggling to complete all the requirements for graduation and have to accept that, at this point, they may not graduate on time. One girl has gotten so overwhelmed that she has been chronically sick for months. I haven't been able to meet with her to discuss healthy living and stress reduction because she hasn't been able to show up for a full day of school in weeks.
Then there were all the students whose families fell into crises in the past month. This stress not only caused absences, but some very rowdy behavior in class. There's the girl whose mother died and left her in the care of an older sibling whose own stress had put her in the hospital with a severe colon infection. And another advisee who's anorexic and so distressed lately that she hadn't slept in days. Her anger and frustration was difficult to bear.
Children, especially ones in crisis, need to know that the adults can and will show up for them every day, no matter what. But as I negotiated through this multitude of crises, it became more and more challenging for me to show up. I caught the sickness. Perhaps it was the two boys, both of whose mothers decided to abandon them this month, who touched my heart the most, and whose extremely destructive behaviors caused me to spend every last ounce of energy I had to contend with them. I simply got worn down.
Thus, I am reminded how important it is that I get plenty of rest and that I make an effort to quiet my mind before I work with children. I find yoga to be a very helpful tool. Every morning, I try to do at least 20 minutes of stretching and strengthening exercises, as well as a meditative countdown. During the day, I take a few minutes between classes to quiet my mind again. It's not easy with students constantly in and out of the classroom, but I know that if I forget to do these important exercises, I may not be as mentally strong as I need to be. And if I am not careful, I may allow my class to convince me to cancel an important assignment or lesson, just because "it's Monday"...or Tuesday...or whatever excuse they come up with. Kids can be quite persuasive and if I want to pass the next stress test, I'll have to be more prepared.
Kim Mussman is a Long Beach resident who teaches at the Professional Performing Arts School in Manhattan. Does your child have difficulties in school? Send your questions or anecdotes to "Talk to the Teacher" at ms.mussman@ gmail.com. Putting it into words is the first step toward understanding.