By Laura Lane
All the women the Herald interviewed were married to men who had recently re-enlisted. At least once a week, their husbands send e-mails and call. And, like everyone else, the women follow the war's progress in the media, though some tune in more than others.
Sue Jones, 28, originally of Pennsylvania, watches the news continually; that is, when she is home, which is not often. Since her husband was deployed, Sue has become, by her own admission, a workaholic.
Theresa Newell, 28, the mother of two Barnum Woods Elementary School students, said she used to watch the news all the time. "Then once when I was watching it, I started crying," Newell said. "My daughter was there. I don't want to scare her, so I don't watch it anymore."
Tammy Harris, 34, said she could not protect her 9-year-old son from seeing war images. As he watches cartoons, snippets of the war appear as the station reminds viewers to stay tuned for the news. So far, her son has not asked questions, but Harris wants to put a block on the TV. She does not know where to start.
"Right now he is proud of his daddy and everything is fine," Harris said, "except his daddy is not here."
"My 8-year-old had a dream a bomb hit East Meadow," said Deena Shiflett, 28, the mother of two young girls. "But she told me her daddy knew what to do and saved us. She knows we bombed Baghdad."
Shiflett's husband is a Navy electronic technician. At 18, she too had been in the Navy. She served two years in active reserve, six inactive. When asked how she felt seeing prisoner of war Shoshana Johnson, she paused.
"It was hard for me to see that woman," Shiflett said. "She is a single mom. I got out of the Navy because I couldn't imagine not being here for my kids."
The room was silent for a few minutes. When Harris spoke, it was with conviction. "I am terrified for the women there. But it's what they do," she said. "I know a woman who is waiting to go over and it's killing her, just as much as it is for men who are not there yet."
When asked if the U.S. media should telecast the footage of the POWs as other countries have, the women were thoughtful. Harris said she did not believe in censorship, but worried children might see the prisoners. And Shiflett said she believed we have too much information now. She cited a friend's discovery of a Web site that showed the execution of the first seven soldiers. Shiflett worried teenagers may find this Web site too.
"Overseas they show things differently. I lived abroad for a while," said Newell, 32, who comes from southern California. "Here they show things over and over again. I wouldn't want to see the POWs like that. I feel horrible for their families."
The women wished they had known of the pro-war rallies on Long Island. They would have gone. No one was concerned with anti-war protesters, though some said their children were confused. Jones tells her step-children their father is fighting to protect people's right to protest. Sara Slouro, 32, felt the best way to deal with the protesters was to ignore them. But no one supported violent protesting.
"Violence defeats the purpose of what they are trying to do," Jones said. "It is disrespectful."
Military wives deal with an enormous amount of stress. Although no one worried their husbands would contract the controversial "Gulf War Syndrome," the mysterious illness thousands of troops came down with after the first Gulf War, they worried about chemical warfare, which they felt certain Saddam Hussein would resort to in his most desperate hour.
All have found ways to deal with the anxiety and fear. Newell calls her sister every day. Without her husband to talk to, she needs family. Jones stays busy at work, but returns home often to visit family and friends in Pennsylvania. She wants to stay in the base housing, even though she returns to an empty house each evening.
"I have good friends here," Jones said. "Besides, it's hard to get up and move every time something like this happens."
Only Slouro feels she is stress-free. As long as she hears from her husband once a week, she feels fine, but she counts on that call. Harris is the consummate volunteer. She is also committed to normalcy in her household. Harris is the one who guarantees the women connect.
"I keep myself busy helping out," Harris said. "But my main goal is to keep all of us talking to each other."
