By Anthony Rifilato
"We celebrated the whole summer," Allison Hobbs said.
She says summers are the hardest now.
Thomas Hobbs worked at Cantor Fitzgerald, and was killed in the World Trade Center attacks shortly after their vacation. Its been a year, and the Hobbs family is still contending with deep emotions, mountains of paperwork, and a great loss.
Since his death there have been memorials, fundraisers, and scholarships created in Tom's name. At Lenox Elementary School, over $20,000 dollars was raised in a volleyball tournament in March, with the proceeds split evenly between three families who had young children affected by the attacks, including the Hobbs family. The three Hobbs children all attended or still attend Lenox.
"They [the Lenox School Family] were a big part of this," said Allison, who said that during her "belly-aching" and difficult time, the community was supportive and strong.
The intricacies of mourning still haven't abated.
"The hardest thing I found is not being a part of 'Allison and Tom,' it's hard not to be identified with that. There's so many memories there," Allison said.
Sports were a big part of Tom's life and his kids have followed suit. He was a big golfer and loved football and baseball (a Mets and Jets fan). He encouraged his kids to playing lots of different sports. "They're still playing sports. I don't think they'll ever not play," said Allison.
The kids try to stay stoic. The boys don't want to cry because they want to stay strong and not make their mom sad, said Allison.
During Jacquelyn's 13th birthday, the new teenager became emotional and cried for an hour, but insisted that she wasn't crying about daddy. "They hide it well," Allison said.
But Allison is making sure the kids are dealing with their emotions.
Last week, the Hobbs' began attending family counseling together. Hobbs said that in the last year, fuses have grown shorter and sometimes anger would get the better of them. Though they have all lost their temper sometimes, "we're all in it together," Allison said. Since their loss, the kids also have been going to a counseling center at South Nassau Hospital in Rockville Center for families of the victims. "The kids are meeting other kids there who lost someone. It's helpful," said Allison.
On top of dealing with emotions, there is the mountains of paperwork she has had to contend with. There is the paperwork to receive money from the Red Cross, applying for scholarships for the kid and much more -- the never-ending details that remind her of her loss.
"It's a lot. I wish I had a secretary," said Allison.
The Hobbs' are just one of the many people left in the aftermath of the attacks. Like many, the empty space where the towers once stood is their only tangible place to mourn. Initially, Hobbs didn't like going to the site, especially when thousands of people were trying to catch a glimpse of the carnage. But she understands people's need to see the place it happened to try and make sense of the unthinkable.
"We're going on September 11. The kids want to go," Allison said. Because Tom's remains have not been found, he is still considered missing. The site the closest thing to a grave for them.
With a deluge of coverage commemorating the one-year anniversary of the attacks about to rain down from the media, Hobbs will refrain from watching the television coverage, like she has so many times this past year.
When the ubiquitous images of the smoking towers would play on television over and over, she would try to pinpoint the 105th floor of the building where Tom worked.
"I found myself counting the floors," she said. "But I can't do it anymore."
