By: Linda Sapadin
At times, the meaning of your dream may seem transparent. You easily understand what your unconscious is trying to tell you. Other times, however, your dream may seem so strange that you don't have the foggiest idea of its meaning. And yet, you know that it must have significance. Nobody forced you to create this night time mini-play we call a dream. You, and only you, are the author, the director, the producer, the choreographer, the scenic director, the costume designer and, of course, the actors. My, aren't you talented!
Yet, despite all of these talents you have in creating your dream, you may feel completely lost about the essential meaning of your dream once you wake up. It may seem as alien to you as ancient Greek. Yet, it does not have to remain that way. You can learn the language of dreams, provided you bring to the table a mind that is non-judgmental, non-defensive, but is curious, enthusiastic and willing to think in a new way.
As an example, let's look at a specific dream now.
"It was after services and the rabbi, who was a woman, gave me leftovers to take home. Mounds of bagels and lox, herring, whitefish. There was so much food I didn't know what to do with it. As I was getting ready to leave, the rabbi called me by a different name and I knew she thought I was somebody else. The food was not meant for me. I didn't know what to do. Should I take it anyway? Or leave it there and go home without anything?
The best way to learn more about your dream is not to interpret it, but to exploreit. Begin by asking yourself questions about specific objects and people in your dreams. Your goal is to discover what the story means from the viewpoint of your unconscious mind. Here are some examples:
1. Describe the major people and objects in your dream as though you were defining them to someone from Mars -- someone who knows nothing about our language or our culture. For instance, what is a rabbi? What is a woman? What is food? What is a name? What is it like to go home "without anything"?
2. Move from the general to the specific people or objects in your dream.
For instance, What is a woman rabbi? What is the woman rabbi like in your dream? What is "bagels and lox"? What are leftovers? What did it mean in the dream when you were mistaken for someone else?
3. How does this dream relate to your waking life? For Miriam, who dreamt this dream, the answer was clear. "I am afraid of not being the person other people think I am. I worry that I'm not entitled to what I have, that whatever I have will be taken away from me if people find out that I'm not the woman I pretend to be. I had this dream the day after my mother's birthday. She was always finding fault with me and even though she's dead 10 years, I still see her as my judge."
Want to learn more about the art of exploring your dreams? Join me on Thursday morning, Feb. 28 for a workshop on this topic. For more information on this, call (516) 295-3162.
Linda Sapadin. Ph.D. is a psychologist in private practice who specializes in individual, family and couple therapy. Copyright 2002
