By Linda Sapadin, Ph. D.
The last time many people took the time to ponder philosophical questions, such as "What is life about? Why am I here? What values are important to me? What is a good life?," they were probably high with their college buddies, debating about the meaning of life, love, sex, truth, etc.
What a luxury it now seems for adults to have the leisure to sit around and contemplate the meaning of life. Typically, after people get involved in the business of
life-earning a living, raising a family, maintaining a house- they often forget about the importance of developing and maintaining a philosophy of life. As a result, they often complain about an inner emptiness and a lack of significance, despite being constantly busy and involved with the many things in their lives.
A philosophy of life provides a compass, a direction, a guide to help us make our way through life. Knowing what we believe in not only provides us with a sense of purpose and values, but in a very practical manner, it helps us make decisions, create solutions, deal with difficult situations, and respond well to whatever comes our way, now and in the future.
It used to be that people turned to religion or principles of morality to provide meaning to their lives. Some still do, but others, despite religion, morality, education and wealth, feel little spirituality in their lives. Their deepest questions about why they are here on earth remain unanswered. This typically results in feelings of loneliness, emptiness, and reduced interest in anything except the pleasure of the moment.
"You cannot get enough of what you don't really want," declared philosopher Eric Hoffer. And if you don't really know what you want, you will tend to make it up as you go along-emphasizing the insubstantial concept of MORE. Without thinking critically, you may find yourself going after more money, more sex, more work, more drugs, more food, more clothes, more jewelry, more travel, more parties, more friends, more gadgets, more activities. And yet, despite having much, much more than you probably ever dreamed you would have, you may still find less and less meaning in everything you do.
So what's a person, who is having trouble finding meaning in life, to do? Keep busy, keep active, keep moving we are told. At times, these suggestions are helpful. But more often, I find that people are much too busy, too active, too competitive with what everybody else has or does, at the expense of qualities like simplicity, naturalness, stillness, tranquillity, solitude. We don't even think about these qualities as worthwhile, and consequently, we devote no time to them. Indeed, we may be critical of ourselves for "wasting time" if we are quiet and "non-productive."
We are often full of contradictions. We may be so busy planning for the future, yet, remain unaware of the here and now. We may be so smart, but remain unaware of the obvious distress in our lives. We may competitively strive for more, while feeling burdened with all we have.
We are almost one year into the millennium. Perhaps it is time for a novel way of looking at things by coming full circle back to our original questions:. "What is life about? Why am I here? What values are important to me? What is a good life?" With the wisdom of experience and the luxury of time, we can now respond to these questions in a more enlightened way.
To quote T.S. Eliot,
"We shall not cease from exploration
And the end of all our exploring
Will be to arrive where we started
And know the place for the first time."
Linda Sapadin, Ph.D. is a psychologist in private practice who specializes in individual and family therapy as well as personal coaching.
