by Laura Lane Mervosh
Fred bought me a huge box of candy shaped in a heart. I never saw anything so big. Then we walked around the neighborhood. In those days, you didn't really go anywhere except to the ice-cream parlor.
Concetta (a.k.a. Connie) and her husband Fortunato (a.k.a. Fred) recently celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary. To celebrate Valentine's Day this year, they're looking forward to going out to dinner.
I bring her candy almost every year, Fred said. I probably will this year too.
In 1950, Connie met Fred by chance. She was visiting a family friend on a Sunday afternoon in East New York.
When I first saw him, it was summertime, and I was only 17. My parents wanted to visit their friends, so I went too, Connie recalled. Those were the days when you went out and visited with your parents.
Fred stopped by to visit the friend's son, Mario. He had only been in America about a year and spoke no English.
To be honest, he made no impression on me, Connie said. He didn't speak English, so I only thought of him as Mario's friend.
Although her grandparents were immigrants from
Italy, Connie didn't speak Italian. Little was said between the two, and Connie thought nothing of the visit.
A month or two later, I got a phone call from Mario saying he was going to be in my area visiting someone. He said that Fred wanted to know if they could stop by afterwards, Connie said. When they came to my home, I still had no idea he was interested in me. But then Mario said that Fred wanted to talk to me.
The conversation was brief as Fred struggled in broken English to ask Connie to go out with him. Connie said that she was stunned. She told him that he had to come to her home to go out on a date. She remembers telling him nice girls don't meet on corners.
On their first date, the couple went to New York City to see a subtitled Italian movie, followed by dinner at a pizza parlor. It was a quiet date.
There wasn't much talking, Connie recalled. It was a strange courtship at first.
At Connie's insistence, Fred eventually learned English. To help her boyfriend master English, Connie learned some Italian.
I told him if you want to go out with me, you
have to communicate with me, she said.
The couple dated for one and a half years and then
married.
In 1970, the Nappos, now a family of seven, moved to East Meadow and bought a house. They choose East Meadow, because Connie had fond memories of the community having spent summers visiting with a relative who was an East Meadow resident. Fred knew East Meadow as well having worked many construction jobs in the area. Now 30-year residents, the couple's five children are mostly married. All but one son still live in East Meadow.
Buying a home and supporting five children soon became cost prohibitive for the Nappos.
My husband had always been a phenomenal supporter of his home, she said. He was a workaholic and rarely missed work, but it was too hard on one salary.
Although it was against her husband's wishes, Connie got a job. She worked at JFK Airport in the postal facility for 22 years.
Connie believes that there are many reasons why the couple have remained married for so many years.
In those days, when you got married it was for life, she said. We didn't even know the word divorce back then. We did our best.
As Connie approaches her 69th birthday and Fred his 70th, they reminisce about the good old days. But they are also committed to their present life. The couple enjoys retirement, their seven grandchildren, and each other.
It has been beautiful to be married to Connie all
of these years, Fred said. She is a wonderful person.
The secret to being married for so many years is patience, Connie added. You have to realize that you are two different individuals. You have to be understanding, and of course the love has to be there.
