By: Linda Sepadin
Remember the days before we thought every lump and bump could be cancer? Remember the days when wars and atrocities didn't intrude upon the sanctity of your home? Remember the days when you weren't worried about your kid being kidnapped? Remember the days when you weren't concerned what the stock market was doing - because you had no money to invest? In those days we were actually more vulnerable, yet we were less aware of our vulnerability. We enjoyed life more because we knew less. Now I'm not suggesting that ignorance is bliss. And I don't believe that we could possibly go back to knowing less. But I am suggesting that we need to learn new ways to live consciously but without fear at the helm. So much is going on in the world that can fan the flames of fear. This particular week another terrorist attack took the lives of many innocent people. People died in auto accidents in your community. Someone you know was just diagnosed with a terrible disease. Your kid arrived home late without a phone call. You find yourself exhausted worrying about problems, setbacks, trouble and calamities that might happen or have happened. Is this any way to live? You know the answer! A fearful lifestyle is not only exhausting but no fun! It restricts your activities, constricts your thinking, limits your choices and squeezes the juiciness out of life - without making life one bit safer. When the joy and delight disappear from your life, all that remains are the routine, dull, everyday situations - as well as the awful moments, crises and tragedies that none of us can escape. Is this any way to live? You know the answer. It took many years for Alana to fully appreciate that risks are an inevitable, essential part of life. That's when she became aware that she was spending way too much time focusing on hazards and hardships to the exclusion of all the wonderful and enjoyable aspects of life. Life had become "just one damn thing after another." Most people dislike leading anxious, joyless, fear-burdened lives, but they may feel that they have no choice. If you fall into this category, you may believe that your fear-prone personality is just how you are and that you can't do anything about it. But you can! Just as you can acquire other physical, intellectual and emotional skills - from curbing your temper to learning yoga, you can acquire skills that will help you "chill out" and learn another way of living. In the words of Bertrand Russell, "To conquer fear is the beginning of wisdom."Interested? Join me at a seminar and book signing at Hofstra University on Sunday, March 28, from 1-4 p.m. I will be speaking about how to overcome fear and celebrating the publication of my new book MASTER YOUR FEARS: How to Triumph Over Your Worries and Get On With Your Life. For more information and registration, call (516) 463-5993.
Linda Sapadin, Ph.D. is a psychologist in private practice who works with individuals, families and couples. Copyright © 2004
