By Linda Sapadin
Let me give you 3 examples of what I mean:
1. If you are running around trying to get 101 things done during the day, stop! Ask yourself what are the 3 most important tasks that you need to do now. Then get them done. Three is manageable; 101 is not. If you finish the 3 and still have energy for more, do another 1. Each time you finish a task, pat yourself on the back and say, "I've done it!"
2. If you're having difficulties with technology, feeling like an idiot because you can't program your VCR, cell phone, car stereo, fax machine, stop! It's all too much. Learn 1 thing! Only 1! When you figure out this one feature, you will feel very cool and finally feel a little less technologically challenged. Success is created by one accomplishment at a time!
3. If you've had the most frustrating day and are ready to explode, do not try to reduce your anger by counting to 10. That doesn't work. When you're furious, counting to 10 takes a millisecond and then wham, you erupt with more fury than before. Instead, take 3 deep breaths, inhaling slowly, exhaling slowly. These 3 deep breaths are most effective in creating calm.
Okay, have you gotten those suggestions down pat? If not, reread them, till they sink into your brain. I don't care how many gray cells you have, there is just so much you can absorb at any one time. Don't read on until you've digested the first 3 ideas. Then, and only then, are you ready for more.
1. Let's just say you've read an article (as I recently have) entitled, "25 ways to get more organized." Twenty-five, are you serious? The author must think you're just sitting around with nothing to do except master her obsessive-compulsive techniques. No, no, no! You've got a life to live. So, either throw that magazine out (there's 1 task accomplished) or skim that article to see if an idea or two might be useful to you. Just 1 or 2 will do.
2. Big numbers do major damage when it comes to weight loss. You want to lose weight, lose 2 pounds this week. Or maybe 1. Whatever you accomplish, that's great! Next week lose another pound or two. No more! We put on 1 or 2 pounds at a time. We need to take them off the same way.
3. Instead of enumerating all the faults of another person, pick out 1 thing that is most annoying to you and discuss it with him or her. (Possibly 2, if you can't control yourself). Fingers are not to be used to tally up all the wicked, nasty, stupid things your loved one does. Your fingers are meant for better things.
That's all folks! Enough is enough! I hope you spend the rest of this day enjoying yourself. Few of us do.
Linda Sapadin, Ph.D. is a psychologist who specializes in individual and family therapy as well as personal coaching.
