By Nicole Falco
The two men, both 44, had an 8:30 a.m. breakfast meeting scheduled for the morning of Sept. 11, 2001 on the 107th floor of World Trade Tower One. They were discussing plans for a wine room for Windows on the World. Normally it was not necessary for the two men to attend such a meeting together, but they did.
Six months after DaMota died in the World Trade Center tragedy, his wife, Barbara, gave birth to their second son, Manuel Joao DaMota III, who joined Christopher, 10. Rosa, Ruiz-Diaz's wife, filmed the birth; attended Lamaze classes with Barbara; and shared the same grief.
"For me it was very special," Barbara said of having Rosa, who is the baby's godmother, in the delivery room.
"When we talk, she feels the same way I feel. I think she is the only one that can understand me," Rosa said.
While Barbara had to accept the fact that she would be giving birth to her and DaMota's second son after his death, Rosa and her three children, Vanessa, 10, Pamela, 9, and Bryan, 7, moved into their new home the weekend after Sept. 11.
"That day was crazy. It was terrible to have to go inside alone and see everything that he had worked so hard for. I remember every plan that we had for that house," Rosa said.
The passage of a year doesn't make the pain any easier to accept or deal with.
"Some days you cry and you don't know why," Rosa said. "People look at you and they see you looking good and they see you smiling and they think you're okay."
Barbara said, "For me it is like it happened yesterday. You have to remember the pain is every day. Wherever you go they talk about Sept. 11."
Still, talking about what happened and knowing that there were countless memorials and tributes in the days leading up to and on Sept. 11 was, in a way, comforting.
"I don't feel alone. I feel like the whole country, maybe the world, remembers that day and that's important for me," Rosa said.
Besides each other the two women also have their children.
"Chris is at an age where he needs me. I have to be here," Barbara said.
Rosa explained that her children, all close in age, feel that they have each other and because of that, they worry about her.
"From the beginning I didn't act crazy. I didn't scream. I put on my face because I have to continue for my kids. If they want to cry, I'll cry with them, but I have to be strong for my kids," Rosa said.
And immediately following the tragedy, the two women were often surrounded by family and friends. Rosa considers herself fortunate to have had her mother and brother visiting from Paraguay at the time.
"There were a lot of people around when it first happened, but they had to go. They had to move on with their lives," Rosa said.
The two women also realize they have to move on with their lives while making sure their husbands' memories remain alive for their children.
"I feel like I am in the hands of God. I don't have any hate inside," Rosa said.
Numerous family pictures hang from the walls in both women's houses and they constantly talk with their children about the fun times and less about the awful day.
Neither wife was able to give her husband a funeral, as with many families of victims of Sept. 11. Both men had memorial services and may one day have a funeral once the forensic testing is complete. That is one reason why the women chose to be in the city on Sept. 11
"The only way I can see him is to [go to ground zero]. There is a family room in the Liberty building that overlooks ground zero. I feel like I want to stay there. I feel comfortable there; nobody bothers you," Barbara said.
