Last month, one of my students took a test he described as hard, while another described the same exam as tough. The same day, I myself commented that a judge had given me a "hard" time which resulted in my having had a "tough" day.
Indeed, not so easy is the difference between "hard" and "tough," nor is it so simple to understand the words even by themselves. Thus, for example, everybody likes "hard-candy" and respects those who "hang tough," yet no one relishes the hard-boiled or a steak that's too tough to chew. Is the boxer "hard" as nails or "tough" as nails? Would you rather endure hard times or tough times, or deal with the tough-minded or the hard-headed? Which is worse: hard luck or a tough break? And what poses the greater challenge: a tough act to follow or a hard nut to crack?
"Tough is hard to fathom while "hard" is tough to figure out. We respect the hard-working and the hard-earned dollar, though we resist "hard and fast" rules and those who insist on taking the "hard line." And we admire those who "tough it out," though we give little credence to mere "tough talk" or those who think they're "tough stuff."
Practice "tough love" and you're a therapeutic model, but harbor "hard feelings" and you're a candidate for anger-management! Drop your ice-cream and it's "tough luck," drop a fortune and it's "hard luck." And, of course, the "tough" cop is a hero while the "hardened" criminal is not, and the hard fact remains that "things are tough all over."
This semantic discussion took on greater meaning for me with the recent passing of my Mother, o.b.m.
In speaking of her generation, an older visitor remarked that they were a group that was always "tough," but never, ever "hard." That while they were all tough enough to have survived the school of "hard" knocks and years of hard work, they themselves never became. . . hard.
Sensing my lingering confusion with the hardness of "tough" and the toughness of "hard," our guest explained that being "tough" is the ability in the face of difficulty to bend without breaking, while to be "hard" is to merely be unfeeling, inflexible and harsh.
Our parents and grandparents were therefore, by definition, tough but not hard as they retained a soft spot for family, friends, faith, nation and principle.
Hearing the conversation, a young yuppie cousin commented how, nowadays, everything is reversed: Everybody claims to be hard – hardcore, hard ball, hard sell, hard hearted – but nobody's tough. In the face of adversity or misfortune they fold, collapse and give in.
Thus, it would appear that the hard truth is that the hard will fade and disappear when the going gets tough, while the tough, even when gone, keep going.
© Copyright 2006 Ron Goldman
Ron Goldman is an attorney in private practice with offices in the 5 Towns and can be reached @ 1-800-846-9013.
