By:Paul J. Condra
At her husband's memorial Mass Saturday at St. Raymond's R.C. Church in East Rockaway, Liz Gardner couldn't understand why her son wasn't coming down the aisle when he was supposed to.
Twelve-year-old Andrew was to be followed by his soccer team into the church at the service honoring his father, William Gardner. William has been missing since Sept. 11 when he was working on the 103rd floor of One World Trade Center as the tower crumbled to the ground following a terrorist attack.
But if the procession was delayed when the bells began to ring, the whispered explanation was not: Kevin Becker got locked in the bathroom.
Indeed, the soccer teammate known for being the joker had somehow, unintentionally, gotten himself locked in the bathroom and the pastor couldn't get him out.
Liz Gardner said she couldn't help but laugh a little, and many others felt the same. Then she realized how her husband probably would have wanted the ceremony lightened up a bit, and it couldn't have been done more innocently.
I know Bill locked him in that bathroom, she said, adding her husband is probably living it up in heaven. Then she offered what he would most likely say to God about the terrorists who hijacked the planes: He'd say Ah, forgive em, they didn't know any better. Hey, you play soccer?'
Gardner was the type who looked for any excuse to spend time with his two sons, the older of whom is named Gregory and is 16. His wife said he could have done anything with his career but only wanted to be home with his family.
We live in a very materialistic world, she said from her modest home in Lynbrook, where her father lives in an apartment on the second floor. But he never wanted any of that.
Gardner was a senior systems analyst with Cantor Fitzgerald. He graduated with honors from Fordham University in the Bronx, where he was a member of Beta Alpha Psi and Beta Gamma Sigma. His impressive school career even landed mention in the book, Who's Who among students in American Universities and Colleges.
Around the house, he enjoyed gardening, and he was a gifted painter. He would bring coffee to his wife's bed every Saturday and Sunday sometimes against the urgings of his friends, who thought it should be the other way around. One Christmas he bought a beautiful golden retriever, Sparky, for his children.
I said, where's my present?' He said, you're looking at it,' his wife recounted, pointing out how the pet has been completely listless since Gardner's passing.
According to Teshy Sorbara, a close friend of Liz's, Gardner was a very grounded man who was able to grasp what was really important.
He taught people to stop and see things are nice. she said. [Because] you could be gone in a minute.
He wouldn't discipline his children, preferring to leave that to his wife, and never complained about anything.
He was even torn between the Mets and Yankees, said his wife. He'd say, I just want New York to win.'
But despite what happened, Liz said she's never felt safer. She said she feels a peculiar warmth and knows that everything her husband did for her family while he was alive will ensure their survival in the future.
It was almost like he knew he didn't have enough time in this world and he wanted to spend every waking moment with his family, she said. Then she smiled and shook her head, remembering how the times when he would just stand in the kitchen to watch her cook or call her five times a day from work could occasionally play on her nerves.
Then she gathered her thoughts and said something that revealed just how much her husband had touched her, if only in a way that she may not have noticed until now.
I graduated from the school of life on Sept. 11, she said. He used to say, you can replace a watch or a home, but you can't replace a human.
