Thursday, October 1, 2026
Medical school is widely regarded as one of the most demanding academic environments. Research archived by the National Library of Medicine has documented high levels of stress and burnout among medical students, citing heavy coursework, clinical responsibilities and fear of falling behind as common causes of pressure.
But between lectures, hospital sessions and late-night studying, Kianna Rojas and Ben James still make time for each other.
Their relationship began in 2018, during a high school formal in their junior year, where Rojas asked to the school’s dance. James surprised Rojas with candles on her driveway before the dance. After that, they began dating.
The 24-year-olds are now second-year students at the Donald and Barbara Zucker School of Medicine at Hofstra/Northwell since 2024. Their days are tightly structured. With classes running from 8 a.m. to 12:30 p.m., followed by clinical sessions, research and student organizations. This semester, they’re completing psychiatry sessions at Zucker Hillside Hospital, a Northwell facility.
Rojas said they will work full time in rotations after Memorial Day, but are still waiting to confirm the location of where they will be working next. Rojas plans to pursue pediatrics, while James hopes to enter orthopedics — specialties that could require night shifts and demanding schedules before they peruse private practices if they want versus working in hospitals.
“We try to make time to do stuff outside of school, and if you don’t make time for it in med school – it won’t happen,” James said.
Teresa Grella, Director of Counseling and Mental Health Professions at Hofstra, said couples in demanding programs like medical school must be intentional about protecting their relationship — starting with individual self-care.
“If people are busy, having something scheduled in for either once a week or every day where they really spend a few hours together is a better safety net than winging it,” Grella said.
Now halfway through the four-year program, the couple say the academic intensity has increased, but being classmates has made the experience steadier.
“We spend Monday to Friday with each other at school because we’re classmates, we have pretty much the same exact schedule, “Rojas said. “We’re in the same lecture, we’re in lab together.
For the med school couple, being in the same program has helped ease some of that strain. They prepare for the same exams and understand the weight of the workload. Even when they plan a weekend getaway, studying remains part of the routine – and they do it together.
Rojas said the couple plan to spend Valentine’s Day weekend together. During the drive, they will quiz each other on material from class before enjoying time on the slopes. “It’s about finding that balance, but it’s fun to get to do it together.”
Rojas added it’s nice to be with someone who understands and expects what is expected out of her.
“I don’t need to apologize if I don’t have the energy to do something, because he understands, he’s going through the same thing,” she said.
Grella noted self care, such as eating regularly or managing stress, can help tension which can keep stress leaking into a relationship.
When both partners are under pressure, empathy can increase, she noted — but so can conflict, especially when time together is limited. However, for this couple they break the barriers.
“It helps not only being in the same field, but also being within the same program, because we both understand each other,” Rojas said. “We’re studying for the same exact tests, the same exact time.
But before Hofstra during their undergrad, there was a time when Rojas and James were separated. James studied mechanical engineering at the University of Notre Dame, while Rojas attended the University of California San Diego.
By the time they were dating, both had already decided that they wanted to pursue careers in medicine in the same med school. “It was definitely a tough transition at first not only learning how to be a college student but also being so far apart from Ben,” Rojas said. “I tried to immerse myself into the college experience to keep myself busy and find what I was passionate about.”
Even when they were three hours away, the couple still studied together via Zoom, muting their microphones while doing their homework.
“We worked hard to have great communication,” James said. “With each other and one of the best things for that was we had a shared Google Calendar with both of our schedules on it.”
They chose to apply to the same schools rather than attempt another period of long distance. They both applied to 37 of the same medical schools, and submitted their applications online at the same time.
When they were accepted to Hofstra/Northwell they moved to Uniondale in July 2024, having driven across the country from California. Leaving home was intimidating and energizing, they said, but navigating the move together made the transition smoother.
“Moving across the country was crazy,” Rojas said. “It was a little bit of a scary thought, the idea of leaving for medical school, but also, an exciting thought.”
Residency will bring longer hours and new adjustments. They know the next phase will test their time management again, but they view it as part of building the lives they envision.
“We defiantly talked about it a lot, after med school you go to residency, which is more training,” James said. “Depending on what kind of doctor you want to be,”
Yet there is a way that they can still be together while working in residency. National Resident for Matching Program: Couple Match where they are interviewing for positions they can link their applications together. They have the chance to be in 20 different programs of the same hospital or a neighboring hospital.
“We know there is going to an end in sight, it’s just the reality of us achieving our dream” Rojas said. “When we get to that point were going to be like ‘I love you but we have things to do’ but we have to get it done to set up our lives.”
