Virtue or vice?

These are necessary and respected requirements for getting many a job done efficiently and effectively. Yet, when any trait is taken to the extreme, its very essence is changed. Consistency is no longer a virtue if one sticks to one's position despite changing circumstances, updated information or unexpected consequences.So, if you pride yourself on being fixed and firm despite changing circumstances, don't be surprised if others view you as being just plain stubborn. If you pride yourself on standing your ground, despite the ground teetering, don't be shocked if others view you as rigid or ignorant. If you adamantly refuse to change your point of view, believing it would be akin to shamelessly capitulating to another, don't be astounded if others view you as supremely arrogant or remarkably out of touch. An unyielding approach to life, however, is fairly common. People tend to be uncomfortable with inconsistent natures. We fear untidy emotions. We fear being thought of as weak. We fear admitting that we have made a mistake. We fear being wrong, even more so, if we are heavily entrenched in black and white thinking. The result of all these fears - we remain proudly steadfast and resolute, fiddling while Rome burns. This is not to say that inconsistency is what we should aim for either. If people can't rely on you because you keep changing your mind, don't be surprised if others view you as spineless. If you keep wavering in your positions because of a supreme failure of self-confidence, don't be shocked if others hesitate to follow you. If you confuse an improvised idea with an well-articulated position, well then, don't be astounded if people have reservations about your sagacity.However, changing one's mind should not always be thought of as inconsistency. The ability to modify one's position when there is up-to-date information or a shifting turn of events is more accurately portrayed as being open-minded, receptive to new ideas and responsible. A changed position, rather than being conceptualized as weak, may be more accurately portrayed as evolving, progressing, or making headway.Whether you are a parent or a politician, remember that those who depend on you need your guidance and leadership. Do not put excessive value on how consistent you are in your position. If you are traveling down the wrong path, consistency is not a virtue, but a vice. Superior leadership requires the ability to modify positions, manage ambiguity, consider alternatives and keep inconsistent ideas in mind while still dealing with whatever it is that needs to be dealt with. Linda Sapadin, Ph.D., is a psychologist in private practice and author of Master Your Fears: How to Triumph Over Your Worries and Get On With Your Life. She specializes in helping individuals, families and couples overcome self-defeating patterns of behavior. She invites you to visit her website at www.psychwisdom.com.Copyright © 2004