By Linda Sapadin, Ph.D.
Give a 5-year-old a choice of an immediate snack or a 15-minute wait for his favorite snack. Which do you think he'll choose? Well, it depends on the kid. Some kids will choose the immediate snack; some will wait for their favorite.
Give a 50-year-old a choice to buy an impulse item or save for retirement and what do you think his choice will be? Again, it depends upon the person. Some will buy, some will save.
Is there an objectively right choice? No, not at any given moment. But over time, the best choice is one that strikes a healthy balance between past, present and future time orientations. Living in one time zone, to the exclusion of others, can be hazardous to your health, wealth, career and relationships.
For example, let's look at persons who are overly past-oriented. These are the people who don't change with the times. With a stuck-in-the-past orientation, they have trouble adapting to new social norms, new generations, new technology and our new global world. On the other hand, insufficient attention to the past can also create trouble.
"Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it." These are the wise words of poet and philosopher George Santayana.
Now let's look at those who are overly present-oriented. A recent survey of college students presented these disturbing results: students who put primary importance on their present needs show a greater tendency to binge drink, drive drunk, gamble and engage in risky sex. Similarly, adults in the same category show a greater tendency for out-of-control eating, reckless spending and disregarding medical advice. On the other hand, a lack of a present time orientation can lead people to be so worried about the future or so mired in the past that they find it hard to live in the 'here and now.'
Now let's look at those who are too future-focused. These people work way too much; sacrificing sleep, sex, socialization and intimate relationships. Fun, creativity, spontaneity and relaxation take a back seat to security, safety, and working to get ahead. On the other hand, insufficient attention to the future can also be unsettling. People who live moment to moment, leaving their future well-being to chance disregard Peter Drucker's credo that,
"The best way to predict the future is to create it."
Like Goldilocks and the Three Bears, not too hot, not too cold but "just right" is the way to go with one's time orientation. Those who learn from the past, live in the present and build a future for themselves are those who do quite well in life.
Copyright 2009
Linda Sapadin, Ph.D. is a psychologist and personal coach in private practice who specializes in helping people enrich their lives, enhance their relationships and overcome self-defeating patterns of behavior. For more information about her work, contact her at lsapadin@drsapadin.com or visit her website at http://www.psychwisdom.com/.
