By: Linda Sapadin
I hear them all the time from folks who feel that time is flying by too quickly. For many people, the pace of life is busier than it's ever been and there's no end in sight. There's always some place you need to be, some thing you need to buy, some skill you need to learn, some mess you need to clean up.Most of us only think about time when we feel pressured that time is running out. We've got to get it done by tomorrow, or application deadline is at the end of the week, or April 15 is around the corner. We don't know where the time went. We say that "time flies." Of course, time doesn't fly, but it does march on. And we get a little nervous when we recognize that time is a non-reversible, perishable resource that goes in only one direction - straight ahead. Oh, if only time were reversible. Think of the things we could do. Disinvent the nuclear bomb, give a great big hug to a loved one who is now deceased, make a different first impression, get out of the stock market before it crashed. But, of course, you can't do any of those things. We all know that when time is gone, it's gone. And when our time is gone, we're gone - at least in this form, on this earth. Because your time is limited, it's important for you to appreciate the time you have and feel that you have spent it well. Some people interpret that to mean that they must experience - everything. Hence, they are always running, doing, going, accomplishing. At times, this feels good; other times it just feels exhausting. But what's the alternative? You don't want life to pass you by; you don't want to feel cheated or resentful; you don't want to feel that you've wasted your days.So what's a person to do?Though I don't have "the answer," here are some questions for you to ponder that might help you come up with your own answers.Think back over last week. What was your most significant achievement? What was your most enjoyable experience? Did you have difficulty answering either of these questions? If you were stumped on one or both, does that tell you something about how you use your time and what changes you might consider?How frequently do you have a day that is full, yet not harried; busy, but not too busy? Contrast a day when you worked well, enjoyed others and felt satisfied at day's end with a day you ran around doing a lot but then only felt exhausted, overwhelmed, or burned out at day's end. What accounts for the difference? What changes might you make so that your days are more satisfying?As you obtain more and more things in life, do you feel as though you have less and less time? Is this tradeoff okay with you? If not, what things do you think you need to say "no" to, so that you can say "yes" to something else. Many of us need to remember that "more" is not always "better," particularly as we try to pack additional "stuff" into our days. Would it be okay if you reminded yourself, on occasion, to "slow down" or "do less?" What do you think would be the advantage of such an approach?
Linda Sapadin, Ph.D. is a psychologist in private practice who works with individuals, families and couples. © Copyright 2003
