Monday, May 19, 2025
The other week I had the pleasure of flying to Atlanta to celebrate the wedding of two good friends. The ceremony was beautiful, the bride and groom were happy, and nothing disturbed the sanctity of the moment.
What really struck me was how much fun I had seeing a bunch of old friends from college and high school, and how much I’d missed spending time with them.
The groom and I had gone to neighboring colleges, although we’d known each other for years through mutual friends. I spent so much time over my four years with him and the other kids at St. Andrews University that there were some days when I thought I knew their campus better than mine. Certainly I knew where all the cheapest bars in their town were.
But after graduation, we all went our separate ways, as happens. While we kept in touch sporadically, the demands of life and work — not to mention the pandemic and general global craziness — meant that I rarely, if ever, saw or talked to many people who only a few years before I’d hung out with every day.
Until this recent weekend, when we spent practically every waking moment getting up to our old shenanigans again. It sounds cliché to say, but it truly felt like no time had passed.
The most astonishing part was finding out how many of these friends now lived so close to me, with the majority of them having moved to New York City in the past few years. The last I’d heard from them, they were scattered as far apart as Los Angeles and London; little did I know that most of them now lived less than an hour away on the LIRR. I’ve already made plans to see some of them again soon.
That got me thinking about how silly it was of me not to reach out before. A simple text, “Hey, how’s it going, dude?” and I could have been seeing them every weekend. And for many young people, this connection is something that we’re all deeply missing.
Most people are aware that there is a loneliness epidemic in America. According to a study released in 2024 by the American Psychiatric Association, 30 percent of adults experience feelings of loneliness at least once a week, with 10 percent admitting that they feel lonely every day.
This is even more pronounced in young people, with 30 percent of Americans ages 18 to 34 saying they are lonely every day or several times a week.
This crisis, while not as immediately obvious as a drug or disease epidemic, is just as insidious in its negative impact on the health of our country and our communities. A variety of factors are believed to contribute to this problem, from technology to being overworked to our hyper-focused sense of individualism.
While experts argue about the cause, the negative results speak for themselves. Humans are naturally social animals, and when we are unable to socialize, for whatever reason — from prisoners in solitary confinement to teenage shut-ins who spend all of their time online — the effects of being separated from others take a serious mental and physical toll on our health.
Studies have compared the impact of loneliness on our bodies to the effects of smoking 15 cigarettes, and concluded that it leads to higher rates of Alzheimer’s and other neurodegenerative diseases. Loneliness literally kills us.
On the flip side, the desire for companionship can also lead people to seek connection and validation from unhealthy sources, such as political extremist groups, criminal organizations, and even drugs.
That’s why, now more than ever, it’s important to reach out. Shoot a text to your buddy from high school or call your friend from your sports team in college. Sometimes even a short conversation catching up is all you need to remind yourself how many friends you have, and how much they mean to you.
Will Sheeline is an editor covering Glen Head, Locust Valley, Oyster Bay and Sea Cliff. Comments? wsheeline@liherald.com
