By Mary Malloy
June Aue and her fiance, Bill Menzies, have been engaged for more than a year.
"There's no rush...we haven't set the date yet," Aue explains. The pair giggle together and finish each other's sentences, as romantics often do. They playfully differ over what happened on their first date. "We were having a great time at a church picnic," says June. "No, you wanted to go home early, and I offered to drive you," counters Menzies. "Oh, right," Aue remembers. "You're right."
They smile, hold hands and gaze into each other's eyes. They color-coordinate their outfits. They go out dancing, to dinner and to family functions. They are the typical couple in the bloom of love soon to be married - and they're senior citizens.
Menzies, 84, who drives from his home in Franklin Square for his dates with Aue, has two grown children. Aue, who will admit only to being "younger than him," and lives in East Rockaway, has seven children. Between them they have 21 grandchildren and 10 great-grandchildren. Both are widowed. June was married for 48 years, and Bill for 43.
Their love affair began three years ago when Menzies, who was looking for a new church to attend, saw a welcoming sign displayed in front of the Church of the Nazarene on Ocean Avenue in East Rockaway. He joined the congregation and started attending services.
Never one to miss an opportunity, Sharon Hurkens, the pastor's wife, prompted Aue to introduce herself to Menzies. "We sat next to each other after that, and everyone was very happy for us," Aue said.
Amid the happy buzz of friends and family, the couple now keeps busy with a whirlwind of activities, including church affairs, family celebrations, birthday parties and dinners. Menzies said they love to watch the sun set at the beach in Bay Park, and in the summer, they soak in the sun at Jones Beach and take walks on the Long Beach boardwalk. "It's nice to have someone to do things with," Aue said.
Aue and Menzies see each other a few times a week. She works part-time as a teacher's assistant at her church-affiliated Little Pebbles Nursery School, and Menzies, a retired accountant, works two days as a doorman in Garden City.
They both remember the date of their engagement - Nov. 29, 2006. At dinner that evening, Menzies simply said, "I have a question to ask you, June. Will you marry me?" Aue said yes immediately.
"I called my daughter in Michigan, and she called Sharon at the church. Instead of surprising them with the news when we came in, they surprised us with an engagement cake," Aue said.
They have not set a date yet. "People say life begins at 40, but it can begin - and begin again - at any age," said Aue. "With love, there is always hope. I am a romantic at heart."
Menzies said their love was written in the stars. "I knew right away," said Bill. "June is the sweetest girl in the world."
Secrets to a long, happy marriage
Ralph Luisi, 80, and his wife, Terry, 77, agree that the secret to their long, happy marriage is written across their faces.
"If I don't like something he says or does, I just put on a face," Terry said. "He does the same thing to me."
The Luisis met at a dance social in Prospect Park, Brooklyn, when she was 21 and he was 23. "I asked her to dance, and that was it," said Ralph, a former Marine who served in Guam after World War II ended. They dated for a year, got engaged and married on Nov. 10, 1951. They moved with their two young children to Bay Park in 1959. There, Ralph worked for an instrument manufacturer in Oceanside, making pressure gauges and thermometers. Terry worked part-time in a bra factory, and said she was happy to be home when her children arrived from school.
The Luisis spend their time visiting their daughter and her family, who live nearby, watching movies, and doting on their three grandchildren and three great-grandchildren. "We're just taking it easy," said Ralph, whose health issues prevent him from venturing too far from home. Terry still enjoys trips to Atlantic City with "the girls," and said that she and her husband have slowed down quite a bit in the last few years. "I take care of him, and that works for us," she said.
"We may have minor tiffs, but that's about it," Ralph said. "We don't fight; we agree with each other, never went to bed mad in all these years."
Sex and the single senior
Joan and Michael, both of Oceanside, have dated for more than a year. Both divorced for five years, the sixty-something couple are enjoying a lifestyle that neither had dreamed they would. "Yes, we are sexually active," said Joan. "And it's a whole new world since 1965."
Michael said that when he started dating four years ago, married friends teased him about what an exciting time awaited him. "That's what they said, but it was frightening out there, worrying about STDs, AIDS and things I hadn't even thought of - not to mention what my kids would think." Not one for casual dating, he said he chose not to be intimate with anyone until he met Joan. And even then, he said, she was afraid that he would compare her with the starlets in the magazines. "Believe me, that is not what I was looking for," said Michael.
Although their newfound love was exciting, they enjoyed each other's company and found a closeness in just being together.
"Sex is so much more complex than the actual physical contact one has with their partner, " said Randi Scharff, a social worker who practices in Lynbrook. "Couples in successful relationships recognize that intimacy, at any age, does not begin in the bedroom. It has to do with how you treat each other all day long. It's about the connection you have with your partner, which is maintained by a mutual sense of love and respect."
"Jerry," an 84-year-old resident of a local assisted living facility, who is a retired horticulturist and a World War II veteran, said he has an ongoing relationship with a woman 24 years his junior, whom he met through mutual friends. "She comes here and picks me up," he said. "We go out to dinner, and then we, you know, have a good time." Jerry, twice married - the second time for 48 years - said that the relationship is enjoyable. Stopping short of calling himself a ladies man, he said that he attracts women because he respects them. "I tell the other men, 'Take off your hat' or 'open the door for the lady.' I try to impress on them how to treat women." Jerry also said that in his close relationship with his companion, there is no Viagra involved.
"Intimacy is nurtured by the friendship and playfulness which occurs within the relationship," said Scharff. "When these ingredients are present, the ability to trust each other's reactions contributes to a deeper sharing of emotions and the presence of more meaningful physical contact."
At any age, apparently.
Comments about this story? MMalloy@liherald.com or (516) 569-4000 ext. 202.
