By Jordan Pecora
Merriam-Webster’s dictionary meaning of peace is: a state of tranquility or quiet, freedom from civil disturbance; a state of security or order within a community provided for by law or custom; freedom from disquieting or oppressive thoughts or emotions; harmony in personal relations; a state or period of mutual concord between governments; or a pact or agreement to end hostilities between those who have been at war or in a state of enmity. To achieve true peace, I believe it is important for people to first feel peace internally — a state of tranquility or quiet. Personal peace is often not discussed as much as it should be. If there is peace within oneself, it is easier to find peace in a non-peaceful world.
Creating an environment of peace and calm can be challenging when distraction and lack of attention seem to be the default for many people today. Peace is something that can be modeled by our family, friends, mentors, community and leaders. When you see what peaceful behavior looks like from people around you, you start to feel peace. Perhaps that feeling is like a softening in your body, a sense of stability, confidence, grounding and reduced emotional reaction. When you’re in a state of peace, it creates a space, a pause and a chance to breathe and choose a thoughtful response rather than an emotional reaction.
There are many ways for people to develop their own peace. For example, sitting quietly, spending time with a pet, taking a nature walk, talking to a friend, reading, writing, joining organizations with like-minded people and giving back to the community. When people give back, the community benefits, as do those doing the giving, with surges of happiness and feelings of purpose.
I get this feeling of peace when I work with my local Rotary Club, which offers access to an international organization of like-minded people who believe in fellowship, strengthening communities and overall peace.
We begin every Rotary meeting by reciting the Four Way Test, a reminder to make sure we live up to the Rotary standards of truth, fairness, goodwill and friendship.
If those in warring factions and nations could find ways to develop inner peace, there could be a lot less conflict. In a peaceful state of mind, they might be more likely to achieve a positive outcome for situations in which a collective effort leads to greater benefit, a win-win where the parties gain more than they initially possessed, rather than fixed outcomes in which one side’s gain is the other’s loss. When people just look out for themselves in a zero-sum fashion, they create feelings of isolation and lack of support. This sense of loneliness can also lead to higher levels of emotional dysregulation. Decisions made in a dysregulated, non-peaceful state of mind are often emotionally reactive, not helpful and not thoughtful.
As human beings, we want to thrive in our world — in our nation, in our community, in our group of friends and in our family. To make ourselves feel better, it is essential to support and encourage one another to be the best we can instead of putting others down. If someone you know gets a big job promotion or achieves something new, you should be genuinely happy for them, not jealous of them. This also creates a sense of peace in ourselves instead of anger, anxiety or comparison.
During peaceful times, individuals, communities and nations can prosper. Being in a constant state of war or violence toward others or oneself leads only to agitation and turmoil. When we’re more connected to one another we are less isolated, feel supported and experience less emotional distress and more peace.
I encourage you to think about ways to connect more, perhaps by joining a community organization, getting involved in a social group or taking up a hobby. Take your attention off a screen, off social media and off parasocial relationships in which you get empty calories, thinking you’ve found peace but are just being led by an algorithm toward a zero-sum conflict. Remember that being a human is messy and difficult, but that is where the true peace of mind, body and soul are found.
Jordan Pecora, who lives in Rockville Centre, is the immediate past president of the Freeport-Merrick Rotary Club.
