Overcoming the loss of their only daughter to violence and choosing to forgive

Shortly after midnight of Aug. 12, 2017, 35-year-old Bobby Vanderhall entered the Hempstead house where he had grown up and, using hand tools, killed his mother, sister, and the sister’s friend, 29-year-old Janel Simpson.

He attacked a fourth person in the house, who escaped. Then he fled.

As police vehicles began to arrive at the crime scene, a tearful neighbor drove to Uniondale and pounded on Denis and Wendy Simpson’s door. The couple hurried to the Vanderhalls’ finding it surrounded by yellow-and-black police tape and guarded by law enforcement.

The Simpsons approached a Hempstead police officer.

“Do you have children?” Wendy asked the officer, and recalled years later, “His eyes were so sad that I knew something had happened to our daughter.”

The moment that Wendy understood that Janel was gone, she made a choice that would guide the rest of her life.

“I cried out, ‘I forgive you, and I want God to be glorified by that!” said Wendy.

The Simpsons had known Bobby Vanderhall since he was about 10 years old. They knew he had mental and emotional troubles. But forgiveness, for Wendy, was not about making excuses for Bobby.

“Forgiveness is not for the person that you are forgiving,” Wendy said. “I forgive in order to free myself, so I can walk forward without resentment toward the person that I forgave.”

Friends, family and the Uniondale school district office where Wendy worked responded with prolonged, dedicated support. Buoyed by the love, Wendy began reaching out to comfort other mothers who had lost children, whether to an accident, illness, or violence.

She continues to impart the power of forgiveness and faith by sharing her story—as she did recently on “The Voice of Uniondale,” a weekly radio show hosted by Nicole Burke.

Practicing forgiveness has made it possible for the Simpsons to go forward. But their journey has not been easy.

“This is one wound that will never heal,” said Denis Simpson. “It’s something you cope with.”

“These waters that I found myself in, it’s not for the faint of heart,” Wendy said. “We still live in the same house we bought when Janel was 8 months in my belly. … So many memories in the home.”

Denis found himself inspired by Wendy.

“That morning, in front of the news cameras,” Denis said, “when Wendy put her hands to the sky and said, ‘I forgive you, Bobby,’ that moment changed my life. It gave me strength.”

Nearly six years have now passed.

“From that moment until now, we support each other,” Denis said. “Wendy did bend sometimes, but she never broke. We are getting stronger, coping together as time goes by.”

Bobby Vanderhall was sentenced to 50 years to life in prison on Feb. 18, 2022. The Simpsons were in court that day. They again extended forgiveness.

“I have contentment and peace in my heart,” Wendy said. “Live! Forgive! Life is for the living.”