Dating abuse does not always announce itself in obvious or dramatic ways. Often, it begins quietly — with subtle control, emotional manipulation and behaviors that slowly undermine a person’s confidence and independence.
Recognizing those early warning signs, particularly among teenagers, will be the focus of an upcoming community seminar led by licensed clinical social worker Dr. MSeven Laracuente. The program, titled “Dating Abuse: Recognizing Signs and Offering Support,” is designed to help parents, caregivers and teens understand how abuse can take root in dating relationships long before it becomes visible.
The event will take place on Jan. 30 at 6:30 p.m. at the Long Island Scottish Rite Masonic Hall, located at 28 Lincoln Ave. in Rockville Centre. It is being presented by Cassiopeia Chapter #453 of the Order of the Eastern Star, with about 40 people already registered.
Laracuente said dating abuse is often misunderstood because many people associate it only with physical violence. In reality, she explained, abuse frequently involves a gradual pattern of power and control that can be verbal, emotional, psychological or physical.
“Dating abuse is when one person tries to exert power and control over another,” Laracuente said. “It doesn’t happen all at once. It happens little by little, and the person being harmed often doesn’t even realize it’s happening.”
She said abusers may attempt to control how their partner looks, eats, speaks, sleeps or socializes. Over time, the person experiencing abuse may feel anxious, depressed or uneasy without knowing why. Friends and family members may also miss the signs, sometimes seeing only a happy relationship on the surface.
According to Laracuente, common red flags include noticeable mood changes, withdrawal from friends, isolation, increased anxiety and making frequent excuses for a partner’s behavior. A teen who suddenly gives up activities or interests they once enjoyed may also be signaling a deeper issue.
“Those changes matter,” she said. “They’re worth paying attention to.”
Laracuente emphasized that how adults respond when they suspect dating abuse is critical. One common mistake, she said, is taking a confrontational approach, such as issuing ultimatums or demanding that a teen end a relationship.
“That kind of hard-ball approach can actually make things worse,” she said. “It pushes them closer to the person who’s harming them.”
Instead, she encourages adults to lead with curiosity and compassion — asking open-ended questions, avoiding judgment and keeping communication open. She also stressed the importance of role modeling healthy relationships at home.
“Kids learn what relationships look like by watching the adults in their lives,” Laracuente said. “Respect, boundaries and healthy communication matter.”
While dating abuse affects adults as well, Laracuente said the seminar is especially geared toward parents, grandparents and caregivers of teenagers, though teens are welcome to attend. She noted that one in 12 teenagers has experienced dating abuse, according to research nationally.
The one-hour seminar will include a PowerPoint presentation, audience discussion and a question-and-answer session.
“We all have a responsibility to help our kids grow up knowing they deserve relationships where they are loved, honored and respected,” she said.
For more information or to RSVP, email cassiopeia453oes@gmail.com
