Wednesday, October 7, 2026
Rabbi Abby Stein emphasized at Temple Avodah that her transition from male to female, from Chasidic to Reform, is both unique and eternal.
Stein wrote the book Becoming Eve: My Transition from Ultra-Orthodox Rabbi to Transgender Woman, which was published in 2019. Stein has given over 500 talks since then, including at over 200 synagogues across six continents.
“One of the talking points I get a lot is that trans people today are just trans because they’re influenced by media,” Stein said. “I wasn’t on the internet until I was 20. I didn’t know there were other trans people. And I still felt what I felt.”
Stein said that it is a universal story and that trans people have been around for thousands of years. She showed this through her quotes from the second century Mishna and the sixth century Gemara, which combined provide Jewish law.
“We had sources here that are 1800 years, 700 years, 200, 300 years old,” Stein said. “It’s important for people to know that we’ve always been around and that we’re everywhere.”
One of the quotes from the Mishna explained two of the eight genders in the talmud - androgynous and Tumtum. Androgynous is when a person is a mix of male and female, sometimes both and sometimes neither. Tumtum is someone who is sometimes a man, sometimes a female, separately.
Beth Schaub attended and said afterwards how inspiring it was, being a Jewish trans woman herself.
“Her whole journey is very inspiring and very helpful,” Schaub said. “Just how her journey differs from mine and the way she processed things.”
Her girlfriend Danielle Fischgrund is a member of Temple Avodah and has been there since third grade.
“I’d say since Rabbi Shai came, I’ve heard that some people have left the community because of LGBTQ stuff,” Fischgrund said. “But now that Rabbi Shai is here, and all the people that are here, I feel are a bit more accepting now. So it feels better, more comfortable.”
Anne Gubenko, on the temple’s Social Action Committee, was surprised by many aspects of Stein’s story.
“I think we have to get it out to more people,” Gubenko said. “Very moving, and she’s extremely brave, and courageous, and we need more of this. And more kindness in this world right now.”
Stein spoke of how restricting the Chasidic community is for women. Chasidic synagogues are often 90 percent male and 10 percent female, and the women are never included in the services.
“They are observers in their own community,” Stein said.
Chasidic women are not allowed to dance in front of men, nor even touch their grandfathers at their own weddings. They are expected to stand still, holding a rope that connects them to one of the men in their family, as the man dances around them.
The Chasidic community was created about 250 years ago when a group of Rebbes, political leaders not Rabbis, decided they wanted to mimic an imagined past where everyone in the community dressed, acted and ate all the same things.
“They set out to recreate something that never existed,” Stein said. “That last (food) part might be the only part that’s accurate.”
Some of them are told as young girls that if they don’t dress modestly enough, and men are triggered into having immodest thoughts, it is these young girls and women who will be punished by God.
For contrast, Stein showed a short clip of her Bat Mitzvah. She originally had a Bar Mitzvah as a male in childhood. She went back for the female version after her transition to claim her new Hebrew name.
In the video, the overseeing Rabbi welcomes her, acknowledges her struggle, blesses her new name, and invites everyone to dance around the dais with her.
Stein said that being welcomed into a synagogue like Temple Avodah is a testament to possibility.
“It shows this is a community we can have,” she said.
