Thursday, October 1, 2026
As families across New York observe Older Americans Month this May, conversations about aging, caregiving and financial security are becoming more urgent than ever. Yet for many households, discussions about estate planning and long-term care remain uncomfortable, postponed until a crisis forces decisions to the surface.
For husband-and-wife attorneys Rob and Sharon Hoskins of Hoskins Life & Legacy Planning, P.C., those difficult conversations are exactly the ones families need to start having now — before illness, incapacity or loss creates confusion and conflict.
With more than 55 years of combined legal experience, the Queens-raised couple has built their practice around helping families prepare for the realities of aging, protect generational wealth and avoid unnecessary hardship. Their work focuses on wills, trusts, Medicaid planning, probate and long-term care planning, but they say the heart of estate planning is much more personal.
“Long-term care planning is important because the cost of long-term care for older Americans is increasing and the number of people needing care is going to increase,” Rob explained. “The resources are not increasing at the same pace and your assets are not necessarily increasing at the same pace either.”
He noted that many families underestimate the toll caregiving can place on loved ones. “Most of the time, the burden — not only financial, but emotional and physical — is going to fall on family members,” he said. “These are important conversations to have.”
According to Sharon, one of the biggest obstacles is fear.
“Talking about death is not going to make it happen sooner,” she said. “But there’s still that superstition out there. It forces people to face their mortality and they don’t want to think about that.”
Rob and Sharon say they frequently encounter families who avoid planning because they believe estate planning is only for the wealthy. In reality, they argue, many middle-class families have accumulated substantial assets without realizing it — particularly homeowners in the New York area.
“Many people are sitting in homes worth more than a million dollars, often with little or no mortgage and they don’t even realize they are wealthy,” Rob said.
That lack of awareness can create complications later if families never discuss what should happen to those assets.
“You’ve got to tell your kids what you want done with it,” he said. “Each child is going to have their own ideas and they’re probably not going to agree.”
Sharon said many clients minimize what they own. “So many of our clients say, ‘I don’t have much. I only have a little bit,’” she said.
“Sometimes you have to tell them, ‘You own several properties. You have more than a little bit.’”
At the same time, she acknowledged that some people avoid discussions because they worry relatives may become focused on inheritance. “Some feel reluctant to say what they have because they don’t want people asking them for money,” she said.
The attorneys say waiting too long to plan is one of the most common and costly mistakes families make.
“People assume government programs like Medicare or Medicaid are automatically going to cover long-term care expenses and that’s not necessarily the case,” Sharon explained. “There are steps that can be taken in advance to structure assets so people can become eligible for Medicaid assistance, but there are fewer options available when you wait until the last minute.”
Medical emergencies often expose the absence of planning. A sudden stroke, fall or hospitalization can leave families scrambling to make legal and healthcare decisions without clear authority or guidance.
“When there’s no plan and something happens to a parent, the first thing becomes, ‘Who’s in charge?’” Rob said. “Doctors and hospitals want to know who they are legally authorized to speak with.”
Without documents such as a healthcare proxy or power of attorney, families may be forced into lengthy guardianship proceedings through the courts.
“That creates more tension, more fighting, more stress,” Sharon said. “And it can be avoided simply by having those documents in place.”
Sharon emphasized that estate planning is not just for retirees; planning should begin at age 18.
“We believe estate planning should start when you turn 18 because that’s the age of majority,” Rob said. “At that point, your parents are no longer legally responsible for you.”
He recommends young adults establish powers of attorney and healthcare proxies before leaving for college or entering the workforce. As life evolves — marriage, children, homeownership, investments — estate plans should evolve too.
Sharon often reminds clients that estate planning is broader than preparing for death.
“Estate planning is not a one-and-done kind of thing,” she said. “It’s dynamic and it has to evolve with your life.”
“If you are retired, if you have income or investments, if you have children, if you have a home or if you have health issues — you need a plan,” she said.
The couple frequently encourages clients to consider living trusts as a way to preserve generational wealth and avoid probate court.
“One of the main advantages of a trust is that it avoids the probate process,” Sharon explained. “Probate involves court, fees, delays and becomes very expensive.”
She noted many people mistakenly believe trusts are for affluent families. “People think setting up a trust is costly, but not setting up a trust costs a whole lot more,” she said.
For Rob, the importance of planning is personal. After losing his mother in 2024, he experienced firsthand how proper planning can ease stress during grief.
“Having the documents in place when something happens is key,” he said. “That takes at least part of the stress and anxiety out of the picture so you can focus on the person, their health and the grieving process.”
“Financially, I didn’t have to worry about her assets or her home. That was a huge relief,” he said.
The couple said communication is one of the most important — and challenging — aspects of the process. Rather than approaching elderly parents with direct questions about inheritance, Sharon suggests easing into the conversation.
“Use external factors to bring it up so it doesn’t feel like a targeted attack,” she said. “Maybe it’s a news story or something on television. You can say, ‘What would you want in that situation?’”
Ultimately, they hope families understand planning is not about fear, but peace of mind.
“You want to be clear about what you want,” Sharon said. “You’re instructing your loved ones to follow your directions. You stay in control.”
Through free community workshops and educational outreach, the Hoskinses continue encouraging families to start the conversations many generations avoided.
“Part of our passion is getting the word out and educating the public,” Sharon said. “We see so many difficult situations that could have been minimized if people just had the information in advance and acted on it.”
Hoskins Life & Legacy Planning, P.C. is located at 400 Post Ave. in Westbury. Visit hoskinsllp.com or call 516-907-2300 for details.
